Farting

Farting - The be all end all of understanding the proverbial poot.

No one is immune to the old Bronx cheer.

If only we actually knew when they were coming.

Farts are a lot fun, too!

Just The Facts

  1. Farting is the #1 cause of laughter worldwide.
  2. Not all farts stink, but they were all once in someone's colon, thus making them disgusting.
  3. Farting is healthy and should be done in any and all social situations, ESPECIALLY in job interviews.

What is a fart?

The fart is essentially the body's way of expelling excess gas that is formed during the digestion of foods and drinks that have components that make them difficult to digest.

Foods like: corn, cabbage, beer, milk, broccoli, cheese, and beans all cause, at least for most people, a gaseous response.

Each fart producing food will create farts of varying sound and odoriferous potency, but all are insanely amusing, with one exception: The "silent and not deadly" fart. More on this later.

Why is a fart funny?

The main reason that people find flatulence amusing is the area from which the fart is expelled. If a fart was simply a gaseous expulsion from the ear canal, it would not be nearly as amusing as the varying musical tones that the anus can produce while transferring methane and sulfur into the atmosphere.

Also, other than the mouth, the anus is the only orifice capable of whistling "Dixie", which makes it amply amusing to small children and old pedophiles alike.

When is it appropriate to fart?

Any time, and anywhere! Farting is a natural human process and every opportunity to fart is an opportunity for your ass to express its innermost feelings. Give your asshole a voice in any situation and it will rarely let you down.

People have long expressed a dislike for the fart, but times are changing. Nearly every phone now has an application which will allow it to mimic a fart...like a whoopee cushion but updated for the new millennium. Fart jokes are pervasive on even network television these days, which means the collective view of the "ass blast" is swinging towards the positive.

It is a brave new world, my friends.

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