Licensed-based Games

Games based on Movies and/or TV Shows. They suck.

Really, Disney? How?

Just The Facts

  1. Sometimes they make video games based on Movies or TV shows
  2. They usually suck.
  3. Seriously, Disney? How?

Children: The Worst Target Audience Ever

This may sound ridiculous to some of you but, children make the worst gamers ever. Sure, games are meant to be just games but gamers take them seriously. Despite what the rest of the world tries to convince us, we teat that shit like art. But, kids, they don't see it that way. They walk into Gamestop and demand the first thing they see just because it's shiny and new and they get bored with what they already have really fast. They treat a video game like they treat a Happy Meal

So, why do I mention children in this article. Because they are responsible for this:

Seriously, DIsney? How?

5 things you can to do to improve liscensed-based games.

1.Think about what your doing.

You companies don't like to think about what you're doing with a game. You release your tie-in games like a frat boy drinks, unrestrained and unregretted. Seriously guys, when you watch a movie or TV show and say "wouldn't this be really stupid as a video game" and then find out it already is, it's not a coincidence. The world really is as retarded as you imagined it was.

2. Remember: Video Games are not TOYS!

Well, at least, not anymore, anyway. This seems to be the mindset that makes people disobey Rule #1. Video Games have evolved from being toys a long, long time ago. It is now considered and respected as a form of visual media. The Nintendo Game Boy being added to the Toy Hall of Fame is the last time you will ever hear video games being referred to as toys.

So, back off merchandizers(or whatever it is you people in charge of that are called). It's okay for you to advertise through any other type of merchandize, but you respect the gamer world.

3. Not everyone can be a video game character.

You guys seem to be under the delusion that if you try hard enough, anyone can be a video game character(I'm looking at you, Disney). Well guess what, it's not! Gamers(yes, I realize that casual players might want to play too, but, forget them) want to use a character we can easily step into their shoes and use their abilties to our advantage. Someone we WANT to be and will give us a sense of control and domain. But a certain company insists on making 'em based on characters who seem to be immune to the very concept of power, talent, or even model personality.

Seriously, Disney? How?

4. Know what genre the game is going to be.

The genre is practically the most important part of the video game. It basically tells you what the entire game is going to be like. If you still haven't decided whether your game is going to be a hardcore bloody shooter or a family-friendly party game, you know you must be doing something wrong. Yet somehow, licensed games manage to skip even that step. It's unclear what genre tie-in games happen to be in. many of them resemble a combination of both a cheap platformer and a horrible action-adventure.

Though sometimes, these studios realize that it's not always a good idea to have their characters randomly smash their way through mindless AI for no reason. But even then they like to come up with an even more retarded solution: A crap colection of bad minigames. Not like those party games, I mean just nothin' but 10 or 12 horribly boring minigames. The kind you find at websites of kids TV channels that kids love to play because they still haven't found out that the internet can do other things. So, please just do something about that. It can't be that hard to come up with your own concept.

5. If you're Disney, just don't even bother.

seriously, Disney, if it's not Kingdom Hearts, we don't wan't to know about it. Just stick to making feel-good animated movies and believing that it was a good idea to premiere "High School Musical 3" in theaters.

Seriously, Disney? HOW?