Scott Bakula is a semi-famous television and movie actor who boosted his stardom by repeating the phrase "Oh, boy." continuously. He's also the first in that line of Sci-fi actors who all look suspiciously familiar.
Listen, Sam, Ziggy says there is a 85% chance you're here to stop that girl from drinking decaffeinated coffee that isn't Folgers. She starts drinking Maxwell House decaffeinated coffee, she falls asleep at the wheel and goes over a cliff. Unfortunately, her husband was killed by Folger's Thugs so she refuses to buy the brand. But, really, it was Maxwell House guys in disguise who killed him. You gotta' do something, Sam!
Either that or you're here to do some menial task - like letting an old woman win BINGO or giving a chunky 11 year old her first kiss - which, in that case, we won't find out until after you've done all this hard shit. Regardless, this could be your last leap until the leap home!
And, in case you're wondering...no, this page isn't exactly finished. Yet.