Girl Code

Guys and girls seem to speak different languages. Guys are usually more to the point, where the females just seem to have this... Girl Code. *Shiver*

I just got Butler'ed!

Just The Facts

  1. Girls talk in code that males cannot understand. Hence, "code."
  2. Girls often get mad when said males cannot understand their "code."
  3. Guys often get mad when the girls get mad at them for not understanding their "code."
  4. Said misunderstanding results in no sex or boob viewing.

Why care about the girl code?

Well, since I myself am a female, I'll tell you right now... care about the girl code if you want to see some boobs. At least know that it exists. Acknowledge it. And since girls generally have nothing to say and therefore shouldn't even be posting on Cracked because of that lack of interesting thing to say, let me tell you... I have boobs. I have boobs and a general knowledge of this thing called the "Girl Code" and can help you to understand and overcome or avoid the code in order to get you to where you want to be -ears deep in boobs. Read on!

Why do girls talk in code?

This guy has no idea. He doesn't know the girls are making fun of the pitiful hair on his chin in code.

So many reasons, some of them being:

  1. A way to be incognito with fellow females. Perhaps something to make the girls bond? Everyone gets a little closer when they know each others secrets.
  2. An easy way to make plans without letting males in on them, thus not even allowing them to have a say.
  3. A way to start a fight with a guy.
  4. A way to protect themselves by not revealing everything up front.. or some similar emo reason.

Why do girls get mad at guys for not understanding their frakking code?!

"...and then he didn't understand my "code"!" "OMG, you didn't show him your boobs, did you?"

"...and then he said he didn't understand my "code"!" "OMG, you didn't show him your boobs then, right?!"

It's a code, dammit! A GIRL code!!! Why the eff should girls get mad when guys cannot understand their code if they specifically use it so guys cannot understand?!

Welcome to the deeper, more involved part of the girl code.

It could be one of a few things:

  1. They actually don't want you to understand, they're just picking fights.
  2. They've been using code for so long, they can't even distinguish between girl code and real talk.
  3. They assume you should know the code because you know them so well.
  4. They're on their period.

What to do when faced with an uninterpretable girl code

So...many...codes...

So...many...codes...

In no specific order:

  1. Run.
  2. Hide.
  3. Apologize and ask them to repeat what they've just said in real-terms.
  4. Just apologize for not understanding. Profusely.
  5. Nod and Smile.
  6. Feign a sudden bout of sleepiness and request to continue talking about this later, then wait for her to go to bed and goggle it or post a question on Yahoo! Answers.
  7. Feign a sudden heart attack.