South Korea

South Korea is located on a peninsula south of North Korea (duh). It is located north of Japan, and east of China.

South Korea to the average non-Korean

South Korea to Koreans

Just The Facts

  1. South Korea is the world's eighth largest exporter.
  2. The Shinsegae Centum City in Centum City, Busan, is the world's largest department store as of 2009.
  3. South Korea first founded the world's oldest moveable printing press in 1377. (If only they made it 40 years earlier...)
  4. The South Korean economy is the fourth largest in Asia and thirteenth largest in the world.

Korea: A History

Consider South Korea and North Korea as twins separated at a young age. One was taken by Mother Russia, and the other by big daddy USA. Throw in Japan as the incest cousin that wants to rape them both, and congratulations, you have the next hit TV show (or welfare case).

Korea was made after several Paleolithic tribes there united against the wrath of the infamous invasion of the Japanese and their game shows, in which the losers suffered from a moderate case of rape and public humiliation.
Koreans, much like all the other Asian countries, percieve themselves to be better than the others. That's nonsense, because Canada is obviously the best country.

"In Starcraft We Trust"

Korea's national pastime is Tae kwon do. However this as of the past decade has taken a backseat to Starcraft, in which literally thousands of people stuff themselves into a LAN center the size of a football field to play Starcraft. There are even sports commentators that preform play by plays as if it were a real sport.

As a matter of fact, Starcraft is so popular that the government is making concessions for the economy due to mass unemployment when Starcraft 2 releases.

Behold the power of Starcraft.

Behold the power of Real Time Strategy games.

In Starcraft, I mean South Korea, being a gamer is actually cool. Remember when you played video games in high school, called a nerd by girls, couldn't get laid, and was told by your parents you'd never amount to anything? Now that I've made the socially inept relive their tear duct lubricated fap story, they would probably be pleased to know that gamers in South Korea are like rock stars in America.

"I'm sorry ladies, but I don't have time to recieve any sexual favors, I got bitches in the back waitin to do that."

(The bitches)

Korean Men

3 types of males exist in South Korea:

The gay Effiminate

The Nerd/Rockstar

And last and least, The gangsta.

These are totally accurate representations. Every male is either a nerd, gay, or "gangsta"
Oh, yeah wait...I forgot businessman too.

And to think people in America still niavely stereotype Asians are harder workers. Bullshit.

Also, men in South Korea absolutely jizz themselves over new technology. They are addicted to the internet as well. So much in fact, that South Korea was the first nation to create "Internet Camp", a program that makes internet addicts do other things than surf the web and play Starcraft.


As for the gay guys, there is no real word for "gay" in Korean, so it's safe to say that South Korea is a country full of people in denial.
As for the gangstas, the general population overall ignores their existence, seeing as their rap is just as bad as the culture's that they are imitading, if not worse.

Korean Women: Plastic Fantastic for your Wallet

Females in South Korea look like this:

Okay, perhaps the above picture is an inaccurate generalization. There are average looking Korean women too, as shown below:

But be warned, all the good looking ones are robots (or have had at least enough plastic surgery as to where their artificial parts outnumber their organic parts, much like Cher.
Since it costs so much for them to look this good, expect a Korean woman to drain your wallet. Korean women are, contrary to popular belief, HUGE GOLD DIGGERS.

But with that being said, would you rather bump bones with an average looking gold digger, versus sex with a hot (albeit very fake) gold digger?

My vote's in for the robot.