Bad Boy

Bad Boy Records is a hip hop record company run by Puff Daddy. Bad Boy enjoyed their peak success in the 90s with a strong staple of rappers that defined east coast rap. They loved three things: shiny suits, fish eye lenses, and up-close headshots.

So...many...cliches...

Just The Facts

  1. In the 90's, Bad Boy Records was the ideal Hip Hop label with a stable of successful artists and a juggernaut promotions team.
  2. Today they're the guys who brought you Making the Band 4
  3. Bad Boy artists often suffer from Efficiodeficiency: the inability to stop. Sometimes this is supplemented by the inability to want to stop. Eh-eh. Eh-eh.
  4. The video for Mo Money Mo Problems inspired the band name Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (citation needed).
  5. Russell Brand is (probably) not signed to Bad Boy.
  6. They invented the remix.

Successful Artists and Their (not so) Successful Post Bad Boy Careers

Bad Boy Artist: Ma$e
Reason for Leaving: To be a preacher
Post-Bad Boy Career: Didn't go so well. It's hard to speak the word of the Lord when you're most well known for doing synchronized mid-air watch dances with Puff Daddy. Also, his decision to "leave the fame and fortune to answer a higher calling" occurred immediately after his sophomore album's sales plummeted just one week after its release. We should have made that two sentences, since there is clearly no connection between the two.
Most Foreboding Lyric: "To keep it all real, you come second to my money." If he's referring to a woman, he's a chauvinist. If he's referring to God, it's hilarious.


On their way to Sunday School.
Bad Boy Artist: The LOX
Reason for Leaving: Shiny suits, etc.
Post-Bad Boy Career: The LOX left Bad Boy to join DMX's "Ruff Riders" label after their first CD was released. They complained that the producers were "all up in the videos" and hindering the artistic direction of the group. The LOX also cited missing royalties and a general disregard from the heads of Bad Boy. The irony that their hit single "Money, Power, Respect" yielded the LOX approximately none of those things is not lost on us.
Most Foreboding Lyric: "Only time could tell how the clock ticks, I'm really loved here but I'm still a hostage." More evidence that Puffy is actually running a hip-hop version of Guantanamo Bay.

Pictured: artistic integrity. Not pictured: art.

Bad Boy Artist: Shyne
Reason for Leaving: The overwhelming need to shoot people in the face.
Post-Bad Boy Career: Unfortunately, this was one need Shyne forgot to include in his rider somewhere in between copious amounts of cocaine and all brown M&M's. Shyne spent ten years at the Clinton Correctional Facility until he was released, deported back to Belize, and, presumably, rocketed into the sun, because that's what happens when you fuck with Puffy. He's got that kind of cash, and believe us, he's got that kind of time.
Most Foreboding Lyric: "Bullets heat-seekin, streep sweepin, with an evil grin... It's a G thang, me and Puff in St. Bart's set it off." Something tells me he's had a few St. Bart's set off in his G thang over the past 10 years.

"I'm gonna Morgan Freeman my way outta here..."

Bad Boy Artist: The Notorious BIG
Reason for Leaving: Bullets
Post-Bad Boy Career: Not only does Biggie have the honor of being the only rapper on this list to have had his own autopsy (the highest of gangsta bragging rights), but he also has maintained the most successful post- Bad Boy career! Despite his obvious impairment (you know, being fucking dead), Biggie has managed to work with some of today's hottest artists including Eminem, Lil Wayne, and Korn. (there's a joke here, I know it).
Most Foreboding Lyric: "N*ggaz say I died dead in the streets. N*gga I'm gettin' high gettin' head on the beach. Chillin', sittin' on about half a million, with all my n*ggaz, all my guns, all my women." See, he's not dead. He's just at beach week.

Cheer up big fella, they have all you can drink Mai Tais.

East Coast vs. West Coast

Bad Boy Records represented the East Coast during the gangsta rap fueds of the mid 90's that culminated with the murders of the Notorious BIG and 2Pac. It all started when 2Pac accused Bad Boy of covering up an assailant who shot him while in New York boning up on his knowledge of sexual assault law (See what we did there?). From there, Bad Boy ignored the 2Pac diss songs, publically requested a truce, and pled for peace while promoting their love for Death Row Records at the Source Awards. Essentially, Bad Boy Records suffered from battered wife syndrome and every time Death Row threatened her, Bad Boy told herself that she is a strong woman and Death Row just doesn't know how to communicate his love. Yeah, we're pretty sure that's how it went down.

Too much bitchassness

Present Day

The death of Biggie was the beginning of the end for Bad Boy Records. By the turn of the century, the label had seen a huge drop in sales and artists were leaving left and right. Diddy's (or Puffy, or P Diddy, or Puff the Magic Diddy, whatever he's going by these days) reality show Making the Band helped restore some faith in Bad Boy, scoring a few #1 hits over the course of the series. But to give you an idea of how they're doing these days, the most successful artists of the past few years are Cassie and Yung Joc. We're not sure who they are either. Bad Boy has been mostly bought out by Warner Music Group. But with Diddy's announcement that he would be leaving for Universal Music Group, Bad Boy as we all knew it may be on its way to the big fluorescent-light-tube in the sky.

Mase will deliver the eulogy