Subliminal Messages

Subliminal messages are everywhere and everything from kids movies to Mcdonalds ads. They are one of the only things that try to get you horny besides porn and your washed up ex-girlfriend. They are usually used by products that have no other appeal.

Just The Facts

  1. Subliminal messages are messages hidden in media that try to appeal to your subconscous
  2. Most subliminal messages are sexual.
  3. Your subconsious is a horny bastard.
  4. Your subconscious controls everything your conscious does.

How subliminal messages control you

Subliminal messages are words pictures or sounds inserted into media secretly in order to appeal your subconcious without you noticing. There are some people however can see subliminal messages. Science calls this ability the absolute threshold, or the point where it is obvious enough for your concious to pick it up , because their concious is almost as perceptive as their subconcious. We call these people crazy, but it can be a cool party trick when you can play Where's Waldo Find the Dick in the picture of puppies!

I found him!

Advertisers use subliminal messages to exploit personal feelings and other attachments. When a person sees an erotic image they will imagine this picture and assosciate it with whatever they saw it along with. This way if you see the word "sex" in a ice cream advertisement your subconcious will tell you to go buy ice cream hoping that this will get you laid. It won't. These messages can also be used to rub you the wrong way. If a propaganda poster inserted pictures of terrorists raping little children, people would become angered and want to tear off some Al-Qaeda heads. Although this would be a good thing, imagine what would happen if someone slipped these kind of images into our children's television?

We're fucked...

Your Concious and Subconcious's relationship

Your subconcious controls your bodies emotions and your concious controls your bodies thinking and obvious reaction. Pretend for a second they are like a divorced couple. They do not see the same way, one finds out all the little things and the other doesn't listen at all. Thats how these two get along. Your subconcious may see the fake wig lining of the unnaturally large woman approaching you while your concious just see breasts. Your subconcious will try to tell your concious this information but your concious will bury it and only notice it as that unneasiness you have the rest of the night as the woman, you found out her name is Devin, stares at you.

What your concious sees

What Your Subconcious sees

Types of subliminal messages

Subliminal Messages can appear in all kinds of media from pictures, to movies, audio clips, and even sentences. Authors can slip in words into sentences so that you grasp the concept and they can ejaculate thoughts into your mind... erection. These little words may not be noticed by you but they are definetly noticed by your subconcious, and it likes it.

Pictures:

Artists can be decieving little guys when they get down to it. If you take enough classes it apparently becomes very easy to disguise a ornate lamp as a women's breasts. The smallest of things can have even the most morally decent person buying tons of kleenex because they think it will get them laid. This is also why you find creepy guys prowling laundramats after watching Snuggle commercials.

That bear is up to something.

Movies:

A movie is a collection of pictuers rapidly being projected onto a screen. If you take a single image and swap it out with another, as Tyler Durden explains in Fight Club, the new image will flash past so fast that noone notices. This is where subliminal messages got their start advertising popcorn without anyone noticing. What this means to you: Remember the last time you went to the movies and saw How to Train Your Dragon for a joke and got a boner midway through the movie? Well that means the movie operator was messing around and spliced a porn clip into the video somewhere. And before you go to see if you can spot a operator doing this, remember, your hand has feelings too.

Porn in 3D?

The disturbing this is, (Actually I think its funny but you know the one percent who take offense...) Disney is the leading offender in this area. A good example is the movie The Little Mermaid, a movie about a red headed mermaid who gives up her voice to woo a surface man(Probably Chuck Norris). Its a load of bullshit. On the original VHS cover people have said there is a penis. Honestly I don't see it but you know a lawsuit is a lawsuit.

I see Greek architecture.

Also in the same movie people have alleged that the priest marrying the man and the villian has a boner. Disney argues that the man has a bad knee. I want to know what kind of medical plan does disney have that doesn't cover bad knees for actors!

He needs a worker's union therapist.

Audio:

Audio subliminal messaging isn't used as much to snag you into buying the product. This doesn't mean it isn't there. Have you listened any pop song recently. The chorus of the song ends up being the lead singer, usually female, moaning in a sexual manner. Audio subliminal messaging is the hardest to pull of because who doesn't notice when you slip meow a subtle clue into a conversation.

Written:

As I said before all a writer needs to do is slide in a thought slowly and pull out before you notice him ejecting inside. Other common ways are to hide a word in a sentence, using a pen is common, so that the reader doesn't pick up on it but it is rather obious to his subliminal. These are not the Droids you are looking for. If the author learns this technique slyly he or she could implant so many messages in one paragraph that when you read the back of the book you jizz in your pants.