Blu Ray Dvd

What's more real than real life? Fucking Blu-ray, that's what! If you've ever wanted to actually be in the movie you're watching, it will only cost you a mere $600 to do so.

OH MY GOD I'M GONNA DIE! oh phew... it's on the screen, you see I thought... cos of blu-ray...

Just The Facts

  1. Blu-Ray is apparently the next step in video viewing, super high definition videos with in your face pictures, more detail than your life.
  2. These are apparently the next step in video viewing, only because noone owns a Blu-Ray player at this time.
  3. Including a Blu-Ray player on a video game console justifies adding $300 to the price tag...until everyone buys the cheap system that can't play even a DVD but let's you do stuff with your hands....NEAT!

A Brief History and Possible Impending Failure Timeline

1998: HD Television sets start hitting the market. Few units are sold at first because they are, like anything new, absurdly expensive, fit for bragging right douchebags, and there was not a lot of HD broadcasting and absolutely no common HD viewing/recording format.

1998 and 3 seconds: Electronics company scientists decide maybe its time to figure this the fuck out and put out an HD something or other to work with these HDTVs in case there was a dollar somewhere that they missed. A scientists discovers new lasers and is called a genius.

1998 - 2003: Sony starts working on the format that would become the Blu-Ray. Consumers would probably be looking forward to buying it if they had any idea it was being worked on or existed.

Soney Scientists Hard at Work...get it? Hard at....sigh.

Sony Scientist Hard At Work on Blu-Ray

April 2003 - First Blu Ray player hits the stores. It's called the Sony BDZ-S77, it costs consumers $3800, has no particular format that will work on it, no movies released for it and is available only in Japan. Score another resounding success for Sony. American and Japanese consumers alike feel strongly that Sony should probably go fuck itself. The consumers then protest by watching that DVD of My Cousin Vinny they bought before realizing it plays on TBS every other day.

2003 - 2006: While Sony was still trying to perfect the Blu-Ray, sneaky Toshiba was working diligently on its own evil mustachioed version of high definition DVDs, the sinister sounding HD-DVD format.

March 31, 2006: Toshiba released its HD-DVD player in Japan for around $940 dollars or 5...trillion yen or some number like that, noone is certain as the Yen is a mysterious currency steeped in lure and guarded by Samurai warriors. This release beat Blu-Ray to the market by approximately 3 months.

April 18, 2006: HD-DVD players are released in America and were priced from $499 to $799, which is almost $3,000 in 2009 dollars. This was still to much and only the richest kings in the world could afford them. (source needed)

Mid-June 2006: Sony finally gets its shit together and ignores its researchers rantings about the players being buggy, prone to problems, there were few movies yet available, and the units were probably not "ready to sell to the public". Sony then pulls a Microsoft, says fuck the consumers we need our market share and releases the Blu-Ray player.

Sony Executive: "It'sh not my conshern if it'sh not ready. Releashe the Blu-Ray and quit gabblin!"

Mid-June 2006 - November 2006: Almost nobody buys the Blu-Ray player. Sony cries a little for its lost youth.

November 2006: Playstation 3 comes out and uses the Blu-Ray technology for its gaming and storage along with being able to play Blu-Ray discs. Finally people start giving a shit, yet many companies still underestimate the effect of nerdy overweight gamers. Your mom's basement is as good a platform for protest as anywhere else. The format war beings.

November 2006 - 2008: Sony and Toshiba went to war trying to outdo each other and come out the dominant high definition format. This reminded people of the VHS/Betamax wars of the 70s and 80s but only in a sort of "Hey you guys remember that?" way, not a "I give a shit" way. As the body count started to rise, movie gangs Warner Brothers, Disney, and other names that people know eventually have to choose sides. The tipping point came when Warner Brothers punched Toshiba in the nuts and went to Blu-Ray. Toshiba stole quietly into the night never to be seen again. Blu-Ray had won.

Format Wars!

Center: Sony Scientist. Other Guys: Clearly Toshiba Ruffians.

2008 - Future: This section was called an impending failure timeline for a reason. How many times have you bought a DVD trilogy only to see Live Free or Die Hard or Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skullfuck get released and then throw a tantrum thinking about how its going to screw up your whole DVD shelf Feng Shui?

This is being mentioned here to make a point. Most people have spent many years and thousands of dollars to replace all their VHS tapes with a DVD format and further add to their DVD collection. You spend 60 dollars on a box set of the COMPLETE Alien Quadrilogy, as well as the set containing Predator 1 & 2 then all of a sudden AVP and AVP 2: Electric Space Boogaloo comes out and you have to spend yet another 30 dollars to add them to your collection, let alone having any idea how to file them away. Back to the point:

DVD is a relatively new format and while the high definition discs look a little better then the old DVDs, most people are not willing to spend so much money so soon to REUPDATE their entire collection. On top of that, the High Def disks tend to only make a difference if you have 1080p or above on your television. So its not worth it for many HDTV owners to buy any of these, or a $300 player or $400 video game console. Therefore it is certanly possible that though Blu-Ray has won the battle with HD-DVD, it still may have not won the war against the old favorite underdog the DVD.