I can feel the rage, but its hard to put into words.. So this will be very very short (like your penis), and very unsatisfying (like sex with you)

Just The Facts

  1. Cena Sucks
  2. Cena always wins (Despite the sucking part)
  3. Cena is Superman.

Why John Cena is Superman.

Is it fair to compare a great superhero such as Superman to the wrestler John Cena? Yes.. Yes it is. John Cena is like the douchebag friend you knew in elementary school. You know the one, the one that looks better than you, is more popular, and NEVER LETS YOU WIN ANYTHING OR HAVE ANYTHING OVER HIM. That's John Cena. The one you want to punch in the face, but you know he'll kick the shit out of you for even thinking about it.

In the last 4 years, John Cena has been in the WWE main event. Sure he was out for "injuries" like a "broken neck" but we all knew that only Kryptonite could destroy him. Seriously, this guy is tougher to beat than Tony Montana is to kill!

Every match starts off the same. Opponent beating Cena up for about 15 minutes. Cena locks in STF or does Attitude Adjustment at the last second and wins. I can list about 50 matches at the top of my head that are like this. John Cena's Power Level; ITS OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately I can't get this video embedded, so you'll have to open it yourself. Unless you're a lazy asshole, which I'm sure you are. That's why you're sitting on your computer right now.