Army of Darkness

Yo, She-Bitch, let's go.

Come get some.

Just The Facts

  1. Army of Darkness is the third film in the Evil Dead series.
  2. Well, maybe second and a half because the start of Evil Dead II is a remake of Evil Dead.
  3. That dosen't count Within the Woods though, and Evil Dead reused a lot of shots from that...
  4. Just...nevermind, there's a guy with a chainsaw for a hand fighting demons in medieval England, and he ruins their shit. That's all you need, ok?

Ashley J.. Willams

Ash: Hero, Saviour, Housewares.

After seeing his girlfriend and other companions murdered and possessed by demons (twice...sort of), Ash was sucked through a dimensional vortex and landed in Medieval times. There, he became a slave and spent a while getting pushed around by primitive screwheads before stone cold cutting up some Deadites, at which point everyone figured he was probably pretty chill.

Ash then went on a quest to find the leather-bound bane of his existence, the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis (translation: the Book of the Dead...sort of), in order to return himself to his own time, instead of sticking around, living the life of a hero and totally nailing some Dark Age ass.

After retrieving the book, battling the Deadites and, most importantly, getting some sugar (baby), Ash either returned to the present, went back to his job at S-Mart and continued recieving sugar or SLEPT TOO LONG and woke up in a desolate wasteland ,depending on which version of the film you watched.

And then there was the time he fought Zombie Spider-Man.

And then there was the time he fought Zombie Spider-Man.


Deadites will swallow your soul, swallow your soul, swallow your soul.

They are absolutely, completely, totally not zombies, they are demons which live in the dark places of the world but can be summoned by using the Necronomicon.

They are led by Evil Ash, a twisted version of Ash who has mince meat for a face.




The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.