Badass Prehistoric Animals

The Prehistoric times were a time of awesomeness, were every living creature looked like a monstrous mutant epic beast on steroids compared to today's species.

Just The Facts

  1. Prehistoric animals were to badass for todays world.
  2. The fact that man survided that era was nothing but luck.
  3. Every single animal was huge and on steroids compared to today's species.

The Smilodon,Sabre Tooth Tiger

The Smilodon or Sabre tooth cat, has an average high 1m from the shoulders and weight 350 to 620 lb, this kitty lived around 1.6 million years ago. What distinguishes this incredibly monstrous beast is not it's powerful legs or it's strong neck. It is the relatively long canines of about 11 freaking inches long, that's longer than the standard rulers, rulers built to destroy anything that would sadly get on his path. It's been proven that the Sabre tooth loved to hunt big game like mammoth, that's how badass it was, it would kill a mammoth which is like attacking a school bus.There is no comparison to any of today's cat related species, even do it is slightly smaller than the African lions, it still is far more powerful.


I can has dinner??

Amphicyonidae, Bear Dog

As tall as the American black bear this 110 pounds of monstrous beast, had a set of powerful canines that would crush your head like nothing. With short powerful legs that evolved for maximum speed bursts to hunt, sort of like a modern day cheetah on steroids. Instead of biting the pray, the bear dog had a special weapon on its arsenal that would knock you and kill you instantly, we are not joking the bear dog would punch their prey with one lethal blow that would kill almost instantly it's prey, that's how powerful it was.


This guy could actually knock your sucks off

Megalodon "big tooth"

This was by far the most gigantic monstrous looking thing that would ever rule the oceans.The name Megalodon comes from the Greek word "big tooth" this monstrous beast measured around 20.3 meters (67 ft) in length and 103 metric tons (114 short tons) in weight. Larger than 3 school buses but together. A team of scientists led by Stephen Wroe conducted an experiment in 2008 to determine the bite force of the C. Megalodon (C is the big MOFO) and results indicated that the largest Megalodon was capable of a bite force of around 182,000 newtons or 41,000 pound-force; over 28 times greater than that of Dunkleosteus (which was on of the first prehistoric sharks) at 6.3 kN (1,400 lbf), over 10 times greater than that of great white shark at 18 kN (4,100 lbf), over 5 times greater than that of T. rex


wikipedia proud sponsor of cracked.com since 1958

Columbian Mammoth

One of the largest beast during the "Ice Age" that lived 12,500 years ago, was the Columbian Mammoth measuring 4 meters (13 ft) tall and weighing up to 10 metric tons and 10.7 feet long at the shoulder, and had a head that was about 12 to 25 percent of its body weight. It had gigantic spiraled tusks which would extended to 6.5 feet (2.0 m). A pair of Columbian Mammoth tusks discovered in central Texas were the largest ever found, even compared to any other member of the elephant family, 16 feet (4.9 m) long (which guarantees makes this guy rich and the biggest pimp during the Ice Age). This guy had to eat approximately 700 pounds (320 kg) of plant material daily, just a little bit more than Rosy O'Donnell.


They should seriously consider adding the "school bus" unit to the international system of units.