Home Alone
You probably didn't realize just how identical these two movies were. Something else you might not know: 'Home Alone' is empirically better than 'Die Hard.' Don't believe us?
Just The Facts
- Home Alone was made in 1990 by John Hughes, who also made 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off' and 'The Breakfast Club'
- It is the highest-grossing live action comedy of all time.
- 'Home Alone' is also chock-full of important life lessons for kids:
What Kids Can Learn from Home Alone
Dealing With Parents
Are your parents inexplicably annoyed with you, despite the fact that you're clearly much more awesome than they are? Not to worry - just hide from them for about a week. By the time you finally see them again, they'll be so distraught that they'll actually apologize to you. Caution: may not work with terrible parents.
Like, say, this guy.
Criminals
Mostly bungling idiots, they can be defeated by the average 10-year-old. It's astonishing the amount of money that police officers get; it's almost as though they think that criminals are somehow dangerous.
Note to Macaulay Culkin: Smooth criminals, on the other hand, should never be approached by 10-year-olds.
Guns
You have these. Bad guys do not, as they prefer to use crowbars. You will never ever ever be shot.
Then again, if you put that crowbar in the right hands...
Fire
Not nearly as dangerous as everyone says it is. If sprayed onto a man's head, it will merely burn his hat off and make him look funny. Try this out on your friends today!
Pictured: an excellent, non-lethal idea.
Creepy Old Men
Don't let their creepiness fool you: These are just sad people in need of someone to listen to them. Make sure you talk to them when literally no one else is around. This will definitely not result in you winding up dead inside their trunk several weeks later, because that would be silly.
He probably just needs a hug.
High Art
No matter how many art classes you take, at some level you will always regard this painting as "That one scene from Home Alone, you know, with the aftershave."
Also, you will always laugh at the name "Edvard Munch"
Die Hard with a Vengeance was... ok, mostly because I expected it to suck.
ReplyWait, I know this was made a while ago, but I'm sorry, comparing Alan Rickman to Joe Pesci is like comparing Rocky to Shakespeare, there's no point. I mean, god, the man is not only classically trained, but he played Severus Snape - beautifully, I might add. And he didn't win an Oscar (yet) because he's British/hasn't been in that many films in lead/large supporting roles/is a mostly a stage actor. Alan Rickman so wins.
Replyi'm pretty sure that was the joke
Thank you for the Half Life reference.
ReplyThey made a 4th Home Alone movie? Holy shit. The 3rd one was horrible. Although they are making a 5th Die Hard, so soon it won't matter.
ReplySo John Hughes is responsible for reducing TWO priceless works of art to an association with Hollywood 80s/90s comedy. The Scream (Home Alone) and Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte (Ferris Buellers day off). GOOD ON HIM!
ReplyTechnically, Home Alone does not take place in a large city (unless you're counting the family's time in Paris) but rather in a suburb. Home Alone 2 is set in New York City.
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ReplyOne problem though. Home alone was not made by John Hughes. He wrote the script, but it was directed by Chris Columbus. I know that most of what's good in it comes from the script, so just saying.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesGenerally, directors are not given credit with being the director, and someone else is given credit with the movie. Ex. George Lucas did not direct Episodes 5 or 6, yet he is still credited with making them.
True. Same thing with Nightmare before Christmas
I'm sorry, but you should have said, "America was not discovered by John Hughes. It was discovered by Leif Erikson."
Also Die Hard was just more badass, and about 7 times more awesome then any of the home alone moviesPr
The "Edvard Munch" picture caption made me laugh, very hard and I don't know why. (Chuckle) Edvard..
ReplyIt's even funnier if you correctly pronounce his last name. MOONK!
there are four die hards idiot die hard with a vengance with samuel l. jackson and he never fires a gun in home alone he just uses sound effects.
Reply Hide All See All 6 Replieshmmm 1 original... plus 3 sequels like the article says.... yep that's 4, thanks captain obvious!
I think he means three sequels (four total). Either way there are four Home Alone movies and four Die Hard movies.
3 sequels, do the math. And who said he fired a gun in home alone?
You sir, just failed extremely hard.
I don't know who said he fired a gun in Home Alone, but he did, it was one of the first things he does. He used his brother's BB gun, shooting Harry in the penis and Marv right between the eyes.
I don't know who said Kevin fired a gun in Home Alone, but he did, it's one of the first things he does. He uses his brother's BB gun, sticking the barrel through the doggy door to shoot Harry in the penis and Marv right between the eyes.
That Michael Jackson/Culkin joke was way out of line..which is why I absolutely loved it
ReplyHome Alone's one of those movies you remember as being really funny, but when you go back and watch it...it really isn't. At least for me. I felt the same with Ghostbusters and Men in Black.
ReplyI agree to a certain extent that Home Alone isn't very funny when I watched it recently, but it still gave me a warm fuzzy nostalgic feeling, however, I think you're way off on Ghostbusters, I still love that one just as much as I did when I first saw it in theatres, Bill Murrey and Dan Akroyd, just a perfect match. Men in Black, well I never found it to be very funny in the first place, although I still like it, it has a certain something that keeps me coming back to it anyway.
yeah, Ghostbusters is better than the others, but I don't know. I don't think I've ever been able to watch it without being distracted by something. I'll really watch it sometime again.
When I was a kid, some other kids and I actually tried something from Home Alone- we swung a paint can at someone's dad from a string tied to the banister. It missed and we were punished, but mostly I think we were all just sorry it didn't work. Can't punish someone if you're in a coma.
ReplyFunny thing: despite all the video games we also played, the only time we ever tried to copy what we saw was from a movie.
Hmmm.... :/
Thats all well and good, except Die Hard came out before Home Alone. Idiot.
ReplyWhere does it say that it came out after? I see no reference to Die Hard's release year anywhere in the article, although of course I know it came out in 88. But this is about which film is better, and it's claiming that Home Alone wins based on having Oscar-winning villains. Of course, I disagree, and besides Alan Rickman has won many other awards so whatever. But frankly, you're being a dick for no good reason, and you should probably stop.
Marisa Tomei and Roberto Benigni have an Oscar... and Alan Rickman doesn't.
ReplyWhat the fuck.
Die-Hard stars the guy who played Professor Snape. Snape, for Pete's sake! That automatically makes it better!
ReplyGreat article. I kind of imagine now how it would be if both franchises switched villains. Now THAT would be fantastic.
ReplyI would so pay to watch Rickman kill the s**t out of McCauly. Evne the out takes would be worth it...
Home Alone is the most disapointing child-hood movie to go back and watch. It's just horrendous. The worst-acted movie ever.
ReplyHome Alone 2, on the other hand, is a masterpiece.
i feel i have to make this distinction - your chart is comparing home alone 2 to die hard 1. home alone 1 is where his parents fly to paris and leave him, well, home alone. home alone 2 is where they fly to new york and he gets, well, lost in new york.
Replyjuuuust sayin.
Um, no?
All of those scenes are from the first Home Alone.
The way I see it, not having an oscar winning villain makes Die Hard the better movie.
ReplyAlso, I quite liked Die Hard 2 & 4 (I pretend that 3 was never made) but I guess the point was that they were not as good as the original, which I'll grudgingly agree too, under protest.
Finally, how can you write an article claiming that anything is better than Die Hard? Yes, yes, I know it's tongue in cheek, but still...
I forget what now, but something in the article made me chuckle though, so it wasn't a total loss.
BTW, damned weird how many parallels there are between the 2 movies.