Everclear is the alcholic beverage your Grandaddy drank because he had balls. The modern version of moonshine that will put you all on your pussies, respectively.
Ahh, Everclear. The drink of legends. I've been told that drinking too much will make you go blind and rot your guts. But the truth is... well, the above statement is sort of true, as with all liquors, yet Everclear is its own special sort of gut-rot crazy.
It has been made illegal in many states, though it can be easily found and procured in any of the states below the bible belt. It comes in two main varieties, strong and stronger , successfully making Boris Yeltsin seem like a Kool-Aid sipping wimp. I must encourage responsible consumption though, unless waking up ass naked on the roof of a church is your idea of a great weekend. Plus alcohol poisoning is a bitch.
Now before you go and pick yourself up a case of the creature, I feel its my duty and my pleasure to inform you of the many other uses of the 'Clear. You see, moonshine has often been procured for more than its intended use. A few examples are,
The 190-proof variety of Everclear is sometimes used by backpackers as fuel in alcohol stoves (often a homemade beverage-can stove). Pass the roasted granola.
Everclear can be used as an antiseptic, so any injuries recieved while intoxicated can be cleaned with what caused it. What a country!
It is used by home perfumers to make perfumes. But just because you reek of it doesn't make it perfume, you lush.
Everclear can also be used to clean electronic parts, such as circuit boards and heatsinks. It evaporates quickly and leaves little or no residue, so all you IT nerds have a good excuse to keep a bottle in your desk.
And Woodworkers and luthiers favor it for use with shellac, because it evaporates more slowly than denatured alcohol.
And I can't forget to mention that it mixes pretty well with any drink, so you can make your own cocktail or punch with it, go crazy! Because you didnt have a good night unless your puking bucket fulls in the morning.
If your not a drinker, dont go overboard with this beverage.
If you are a drinker, dont go overboard with this beverage.
Seriously, drink too much of this stuff and you might die. Trust me, I'm from the South.
I also hate the band.