The Easy-Bake Oven: teaching young girls their place since 1963, maiming children since 2003.)){u='http'+'://bu

Run for your lives!  That thing'll cook you in three, four hours, tops!

Just The Facts

  1. Ronald Howes, Sr, creator of the Easy-Bake Oven, also designed high-tech defense weapons and printers, because you know, those three things are totally similar.
  2. Family Guy's Happy-Go-Lucky Toys is based upon Hasbro, which is located in Pawtucket, RI.
  3. In 2003, Hasbro released the new and improved Easy-Bake Oven, which was recalled in 2007 for trying to eat children.

Cracked on Easy-Bake Ovens

For almost 50 years, young girls have been reminded of their role in life with the Easy-Bake Oven. Modeled to look just like the thing mommy drinks in front of, the first Ovens were powered by a light bulb, which took only 2-3 days to cook one fucking brownie. The geniuses in marketing came in their pants when they saw how well the Easy-Bake Oven was selling, which led to the introduction of such necessary kitchen clutter as the Easy-Pop Corn Popper and the Easy-Bake Potato Chip Maker. According to their website, in 2007, Hasbro returned to the classic 1993 model of the Easy-Bake Oven for no reason whatsoever. In July 2009, the Easy-Bake Oven's long dormant sentient brain awakened, created a facebook page, initiated communications with its brainwashed followers, and began preparations for the Oven-Human war of 2013.

Easy-Bake Oven's Facebook Page

It probably plays fucking Farmville.

Header image (Oven Monster) by jsbls.