The Easy-Bake Oven: teaching young girls their place since 1963, maiming children since 2003.

Run for your lives!  That thing'll cook you in three, four hours, tops!

Just The Facts

  1. Ronald Howes, Sr, creator of the Easy-Bake Oven, also designed high-tech defense weapons and printers, because you know, those three things are totally similar.
  2. Family Guy's Happy-Go-Lucky Toys is based upon Hasbro, which is located in Pawtucket, RI.
  3. In 2003, Hasbro released the new and improved Easy-Bake Oven, which was recalled in 2007 for trying to eat children.

Cracked on Easy-Bake Ovens

For almost 50 years, young girls have been reminded of their role in life with the Easy-Bake Oven. Modeled to look just like the thing mommy drinks in front of, the first Ovens were powered by a light bulb, which took only 2-3 days to cook one fucking brownie. The geniuses in marketing came in their pants when they saw how well the Easy-Bake Oven was selling, which led to the introduction of such necessary kitchen clutter as the Easy-Pop Corn Popper and the Easy-Bake Potato Chip Maker. According to their website, in 2007, Hasbro returned to the classic 1993 model of the Easy-Bake Oven for no reason whatsoever. In July 2009, the Easy-Bake Oven's long dormant sentient brain awakened, created a facebook page, initiated communications with its brainwashed followers, and began preparations for the Oven-Human war of 2013.

Easy-Bake Oven's Facebook Page

It probably plays fucking Farmville.

Header image (Oven Monster) by jsbls.