The Easy-Bake Oven: teaching young girls their place since 1963, maiming children since 2003.
For almost 50 years, young girls have been reminded of their role in life with the Easy-Bake Oven. Modeled to look just like the thing mommy drinks in front of, the first Ovens were powered by a light bulb, which took only 2-3 days to cook one fucking brownie. The geniuses in marketing came in their pants when they saw how well the Easy-Bake Oven was selling, which led to the introduction of such necessary kitchen clutter as the Easy-Pop Corn Popper and the Easy-Bake Potato Chip Maker. According to their website, in 2007, Hasbro returned to the classic 1993 model of the Easy-Bake Oven for no reason whatsoever. In July 2009, the Easy-Bake Oven's long dormant sentient brain awakened, created a facebook page, initiated communications with its brainwashed followers, and began preparations for the Oven-Human war of 2013.
It probably plays fucking Farmville.
Header image (Oven Monster) by jsbls.