What To Expect In The Next 100 Years

We at Cracked are giving you the heads up for the next century. Don't write this shit down, just book mark it for future reference on a computer that will be obsolete in about 5 minutes.

A post apocalyptic Disney world.

Just The Facts

  1. This is where the world is headed in the next century.
  2. We are giving you fair warning.
  3. Proceed.

Timeline

2012- Facebook, Google, and Twitter mega-merger.

2013-The Mayan calender ends. The world does not.

2014- 90% of the world's population will have their own YouTube Channel.

2015-Viewership of internet videos and TV will hit an all-time low. Almost everyone, except the Amish, are running around recording their every move and uploading it to their Facebook-Twitter-Google Account. There will be no more then a handful of people watching these videos. The few watching will be someone from the police and maybe even your mom. She is only watching because she wants to know what you're doing. She is disgusted.

2020- People look back at their lives and regret their past mistakes. It is the year of hindsight.

2021-The majority of English speakers in the world will be Engrish speaking Chinese. Fa-rah-rah-ra-rah.

2051- The Majority will became the minority. The minority will become the majority. Hispanics will take the lead in the United States as the racial majority. Hasta la vista mayonaise lickers . The Man is no longer THE Man. It is now El Hombre.

2069-Prostitution is killed off by Sex Robots. We meant that figuratively. Sex robots don't really kill, they just fuck. Sex robots are now mass produced and are cheap enough for any man with a shit job to buy. Men are now more likely to hump a perfectly enginered sex machine then a "flawed" real woman with thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

2078- A sex robot is finally invented for women. This robot is willing to hold you after bumping bits with bytes. It will even tell you it's feelings. Birth rates will hit an all time low due to sex robots. The world's top leadears hold a summit to save the human race . But not till after they... have one last embrace with their robot lovers.

2079-Xenu appears from space, takes over California, and makes it the world's capital. Scientology is no longer the laughingstock of the world.

2097-Xenu is found to be a False Prophet.

2099-The two major political parties are the Democraps and Shut-the-fuck-Uplicans. Different names, same shit.

2110-Cash is almost finally obsolete. Just like we've been saying for the last 100 years.

The four horseman

2111- Religion dies, then rises again three days later. Just in time for the Four Horseman to appear and signal the beginning of the end, The Apocalypse.