Fred Phelps

-Under Construction- And you thought YOU were a douchebag? No. You got nothin'. Fred Phelps is the grand flaming asshole douchebag of the world. He hates people so much, he probably hates himself.

He believes in old fashioned values, like family, God, and psychotic levels of hatred for pretty much everything else...
He believes in old fashioned values, like family, God, and psychotic levels of hatred for pretty much everything else...

Just The Facts

  1. Fred Phelps is like a magician who pulls hatred out of his hat instead of rabbits.
  2. Instead of just starting a Reich of some kind, he started the Westboro Baptist Church, which provides spiritual guidance to many hateful intolerant assholes each year.
  3. Phelps likes to inform everyone that God hates them. This way they can learn the error of existing. Or he's just trying to get people into fights with God.
  4. God Hates Cracked, and probably hates you just for reading this. You ungodly piece of shit. Go hate someone before it's too late.

What's That Smell???

Internet users are probably familiar with the common troll. They are people who go online and harass people with hateful nonsense until someone wants to pound their stupid faces in with hammers. The internet has trolls.

And reality has Fred Phelps.

Ostensibly a Christian, Phelps preaches nothing but hatred and disrespect toward a truly staggering array of people. There are people who hate gays, Jews, Catholics, Irish People, and even Swedish People. However, Fred Phelps hates them all, and then some. He hates people that it is has honestly never occurred to anyone to hate before. He is an actual pioneer of hate itself.

Before we delve into the shrieking pit of utter madness that is the mind of Fred Phelps, let's ask where a complete venom dripping psycho even comes from in the first place. How does someone even manage to BE such an effective and clear villain?

You Must Be Shitting Me...

He started out as a good guy.

You wouldn't know it at all from listening to him these days, but once upon a time, Fred Phelps was a civil rights lawyer. Yes, that is literally more shocking than "little Ani" growing up to be Darth Vader. He was pretty serious about it too, and actually managed to help end some racist laws.

He seems to remain non-racist against black people, and agrees with the separation of church and state. Those things are certainly good, but they may very well be the only good things about this guy. In every other way, he has done a complete 180 from making the world better to making it much more noisy and insane.

These days Phelps stands around waving signs with his congregation of hate, and reads stuff out of his bible to them. When they try to touch it he bares his teeth and scuttles backward, hissing "My precious..."

In Conclusion...

"God Phelps Those Who Phelp Themselves." - Kamikaze Phoenix