Adam Sandler

Actor? Musician? Writet? Producer? Douchebag? To hell with abortion and enthuasia, we try to solve the biggest issue of the the 21st century: is Adam Sandler a genius or a mentally hanicapped child?

It's like Munich if you replaced Eric Bana with gay jokes.

Just The Facts

  1. During his career Adam Sandler has appeared in 32 movies.
  2. 2 of them were good.
  3. Unfortuently 'Punch Drunk Love' and 'Reign Over Me' did not contain titties or Rob Schneider so nobody went to see them.

Sandler on Trial

A person's age can usually be predicted by their attitudes to a typical Adam Sandler film. We are all in constant progression in regards to films such as Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore.

Ages 8-18: Man this guy's funny! Me and my friends get together, watch the film and yell out classic quotes such as "Chloropyll? More like BOREophyll!" I thought getting hit in the balls was only funny once but boy was I wrong.

Ages 19-28: Meh, my views during youth were misguided. I don't care for these movies much anymore because I find them hard to relate to my own life. My biggest challenge is facing the mundanity of everyday office work, definitely not having to marry a fat guy to fulfil a legal loophole whereby wacky hijinks ensue.

Ages 29-38: I hate that guy! I work all day for no money and he becomes a millionaire by making dumb comedies! Maybe he should do something more useful than making millions of people laugh. Dick.

Ages 39 to Death are spent in constant flux between love and hate for Sandler. You think his movies are dumb yet they get laughs and have nostalgic value. Because of this nobody ever settles on an opinion for the man, but its said that in the moments before death Steve Buscemi will appear in a leather flying hat and reveal whether Adam Sandler movies are good or bad.

This was the man who acted in Reservoir Dogs, Fargo and Miller's Crossing

This was the man who acted in Reservoir Dogs, Miller's Crossing and Fargo.

The problem is Sandler's films often juxtapose what could be meaty issues with crude and childish humour. 'Chuck and Larry' was a movie about prejudice to homosexuals yet contained a scene where a hobo's gangrenous leg flew off whilst dancing on a table. 'Billy Madison' could have been a film about the failings of the American education system yet there was a scene where Sandler chased an imaginary penguin on nudie magazine day. 'Click' was a film about the, er, dangers of time travel?

Lets compare two humorous scenes from films Adam Sandler has starred in. First lets look at the dinner part scene from Punch Drunk Love. At the start his many sisters tell their husbands about the time Sandler's character Barry smashed a window when he was young for no reason. They then proceed to insult his personality in everyday conversation by calling him gay and wondering why he's still single. Barry stands smiling at the scene vacantly, we see his eyes drifting further away as the scene builds. Suddenly out of nowhere we hear a smash and the camera cuts to Barry kicking out some plate glass doors.

It's humorous because we see how the sister's ignorance is causing the awkwardness in Barry that they despise, yet its also moving. We see how Barry's life is just a cycle of frustration that he cannot escape from. We feel sorry and surprisingly moved.

Now think back to the memorable scene in Mr. Deeds where Sandler hits a tennnis ball and its smashes a man in the dick.

Oh no! I your dick with a ball... AGAIN

To conclude, Adam Sandler is capable of clever things and he's capable of extremely dumb things. However, he knows what he's doing because you don't get to be the richest man in Hollywood by luck alone. I'm sure Sandler would like to make better films, but how can he when people will spend more money seeing a man get smacked in the face with a frozen shit or something.

In fact, Sandler seems to even aknowledge his flaws in the movie Funny People. He plays a big-name actor who is unhappy with the fact his movies are dumb and mainstream, so unhappy in fact this emptiness almost destroys his life. Its an interesting device used in the film, we truly do sypathize with the character because its somebody we've already known for years. However, can playing yourself on camera ever work for other movies? I'm trying to make some joke about Toby Maguire actually being Spiderman for real or something but it doesn't quite work. Its a shame, this article could have done with a sign-off joke at the end. I hope you'll settle with some sort of non-sequitur.

This will have to do