Led Zeppelin Vs. Tokio Hotel

You've Probably heard of the GODS of rock Led Zeppelin right? Yeah, they did the one about the stairway. Well then im sure you've heard of Tokio hotel? no? well my girlfriend SWEARS theyre better than Led Zeppelin, And i doubt that seeing as...

upon searching for

when i searched

Just The Facts

  1. In their time together Led Zeppelin cranked out an impressive 9 studio albums 3 live albums and 9 compilation albums.
  2. So far Tokio Hotel has put 4 studio album as well as 1 live album on the market.
  3. One of Tokio hotels albums (scream) is actually just a translated version of their German album Schri
  4. Led zeppelin is an English rock group, Tokio hotel is German, not that i have anything against the germans (see World War 2)

Lets Compare...

The Bands

Led Zeppelin

Yes, That jet does belong to them

Led zeppelin standing in front of their private jet, doing what brits do best, Be awesome.

From left to right their bassist, drummer, guitarist, and singer

Tokio Hotel

Pictured Left to right: A lynard skynard fan, A white woman, one reason why i dont want dreads anymore, and a poor metallica fan trapped in this picture with them

WAIT WHAT!? you cant be serious... THATS the band, well after a quick wikipedia search ive learned, that from left to right their positions are, The bassist, the singer, the guitarist, and the drummer

Also that white rather unattractive female wearing too much eyeliner (and by the looks of it mascara) i told you was the singer, is actually a DUDE!! yeah i know creepy huh, i mean led zeppelins members had some long hair but it was in style and cool, her his hair looks like a hedgehog just got angry, what, its too flat? let me find you a better example:

A failed attempt at being Badass

Yeah thats better, oh and in case you didnt notice yet, The singer (lady) and guitarist (wangster) are brother and sister brothers, Twins in fact.

Singers: an important part of any band.

Led Zeppelin: Robert Plant

You can only get that smug look from sex, and BOY OH BOY did he get it from sex.

This my friends is Robert Plant, the man who can chill your spine with those seven words at the end of stairway to heaven. Singer of 74 of the greatest songs you might ever hear (they have more but those are on the albums you see, and unless you want the government to steal your soul you dare not use limewire) He also has had sex with more women than you can count, hence the smug look.

Tokio hotel: Bill Kaulitz

Apparently he CAN flatten the angry hedhehog

ID TAP THA....OH MY GOD ITS HIM AGAIN!

Tokio hotels Bill kaulitz is a man of many words, many german words which i do not understand. but the one english sentance that isn't in one of his songs written towards the young teenage woman population of america inspiring them to be more like her him, is I AM A VIRGIN. no joke, hes 20 and is very famous for being a VIRGIN ROCK STAR, now if i know ANYTHING about Rock stars is they get laid. From my knowledge even playing guitar hero on expert is enough to get some from some girls yet, he prides himself for being a virgin? somethings not adding up here...

The Guitar Heros

Led Zeppelin: Jimmy Page

Undobtedly one of the greatest guitar players of all time Page Re-invented the word Solo

In fact it is believed by many (and by many i mean me) that Jimmy rocked so hard he went back in time and created electricity, just to be sure that his mind blowing solos could be heard throughout the world, because no electricity means no electric guitar, and no electric guitar means no hard rock.

Oh and by the way, you know that beautiful double neck electric guitar you wanted ever since boyhood?yeah this one.

Yeah he made the double neck famous. Presumably because even though he could shred unlike any other he needed more strings to feed his appetite for rock.

and you thought he was badass before

Tokio Hotel: Tom Kaulitz

Being in a pop Rock band he is dressed like this WHY?

Gangster Guitarist?

Tom kaulitz is the guitarist in the band Tokio Hotel, Probably because his rapping skills need some work, ive seen wangsters in America, But a German Wangster guitarist playing in a pop rock band? with dreads? He's cool huh?! dont you wanna be him?! no? well i dont blame ya.

They even have their own Barbie dolls kids!

Also this doesn't Help

Yes, He did go there.

Wow, yes, he is the straightest guitarist of all time... isnt he?

The Bassist, Unappreciated yet needed

Led Zeppelin: John Paul Jones

Despite having a DAMNED awesome name, this bassist for led zeppelin threw down some of my personal favorite bass lines (especially in four sticks) and if you're a true zeppelin fan you know what im talking about.

im sure hes playing something hardcore

Tokio Hotel: Georg Listing

isnt he badass (snicker)

You know i couldnt find enough actual information on him other than hes been playing bass for 10 years, since he was 13, and that most obcessed fangirls, like obcessed fangirls, dig him. I give him (some) props, as an extensive google search provided no images like SOME of the other above ones.

And at the core is... The Drummer

Led Zeppelin: John Bonham

Yes, back then this WAS sexy

Well, first off lets just say, he referred to his drum stick as TREES yes, FUCKING TREES, he used the biggest and baddest drumsticks available and BEAT THOSE MOTHERS TILL THEY SOUNDED GOOD DAMNIT, and during the song four sticks, he actually played (hence the clever name) with four sticks. He is the unmistakeable badass who died, in the same manner as hendrix, drowning in his own chunks, but you know he had a good reason seeing as he oh... downed 40 shots of vodka in a day! Wow, what a badass.

Tokio Hotel: Gustav Schafer

Honestly, He's okay, he just needs to ditch the freaks

Probably the straightest of the bunch, he does state Metallica as one of his influences, so he cant be that bad, he has short hair unlike the rest of them, and has been playing drums since he was five. He is still alive unlike Bonham, but i'm sure he could never be as cool.

So who do you think wins?

not

ahahahahahah just kidding...

One reason why a zeppelin, should not be flown over a flamethrowr factory

I mean come on folks.

Obvious winner here

Sorry to who i may have offended, with the content above (which will haunt your nightmares*)

*and possibly their nightmares