Lame Things That Used To Make You Cool

Oh how much fun we had in our youth! Remember the good old days of Furbies and everyone wearing brightly colored clothes? Ever look back and wonder what you were thinking? Don't worry, we all do. Still thinking about the past with fond memories? Well

talk about compensation

I have nothing funny to say here, knowing this theme song still makes you cool. I mean it

Just The Facts

  1. Furbies are honestly the scariest things to ever be created, and are proof that the robot uprising is fast- coming.
  2. Power Rangers is not on the list because that show is still AMAZING.
  3. Seriously, they bled SPARKS, fricking sparks! That is beyond awesome.

Just in time to see the friggin' bus fly by....

Shhhh, I know. You don't like to be reminded of the hell that was seasons 1 - 4 of Saved by the Bell, let alone think of the fact that you actually LOVED it. Don't lie, you did. Everytime you watched it it felt like a warm hug from a Catholic priest, comforting, but at the same time extremely weird and uncomfortable.

Oh sure, you can try to block the memories, but deep down you remember thinking that Screech was funny, Zach was cool, and Slater was a prick (you're actually still right about that last one). Will these memories haunt you for the rest of your natural life? I can only assume so, unless you were to die of advanced alzheimers.

The stuff nightmares are made of....

That grin wasn't for the Fathers hug

Furby hungwy...

Ok, honestly, do I even need to mention how disturbing those words are? These little gremlin wanna- be's not only had an appetite the size of Wisconsin, they had a taste for human flesh. Did anyone even have fun with these things?

They only way to send these fuzzy bastards back to Hell

Why did anyone like these things? Actually, a better question is, why did everyone LOVE these things? Back in the day, if you didn't roll with a Furby, you just didn't have game with the ladies. Now days if the latest (and possibly only) hot chick you brought home to score with sees this thing in your room your chances of getting laid just became a metric fuckton below zero. Seriously, keeping one of those robotic abominations is worse than the Winnie the Pooh condoms you keep in your dresser. The only cool factor ANY Furby had was its ability to eventual repeat the things you said. Imagine your mother walking past Furby only to hear "Furby fuck you." Despite the odd implications you must admit that is totally AWESOME!!! Even with that level of epicness on the chart Furbies will be the final downfall of humanity and the rise of the dark lord!

Witchcraft and...nerdery

Everyone knows of harry patter right? If not then those that don't must come from a planet of pure awesome and are selfish bastards for not sharing. For those of you that do know that the fad is still an active part of todays media and merchandise sales. Admitidly those interested are either young children or 30 year old virgin nerds that spend the rest of their days in a basement waving a wooden stick shouting Engorgio in hopes it will increase the size of their dongs. Life this fellow...

"Ma it didnt work, my pee-pee is still to small!"

"Ma it didn't work, my pee-pee is still too small!"

Sadly enough the guy has classic harry potter style glasses, and looks like the bridge is taped. But fortunately the days of young wizards waving wands to fight off the evil adults and assholian (cannot claim credit for coining this term) classmates is coming to an end and an era of peace and prosperity will enter the world. Yeah right!

Aside from potters magic cock enhancer the story provides many more areas to be wished bon voyage in the coming days. Thus we give you... He who Must not be named.

Lucifer Denied his application

Lucifer denied his application

Yes the great dark lord (not to be mistaken with Dark Lord furby mentioned above) Voldemort. To delve deeper into the tale and risk appearing more nerdy we shall reveal his true name, Tom Riddle. Fitting name as to how a snot nosed brat became the wizarding worlds most feared dark wizard, a riddle indeed. Many would agree that Voldemort is just your average cliche bad guy. World domination, mass murder, constant gloating and bragging, spinelessly fleeing a losing battle and lets not forget choosing the most retarded minions to do his dirty work. Such as peter Pettigrew

rat bastard stole my cheese

rat bastard stole my cheese!

Yes his many failures he blaims on others, though in this case we will gladly let it slide as wormtail had to have been the worst possible minion in the history of cliche super villains. He could have killed the dark lord but Nooooo, this spineless rat turd took orders from a defenseless demon child. Still the one Good thing harry potter has brought, aside from taking the dangerous nerds of the street to perform male enhhancment is bat shit insane (but funny) videos like this....