Genki Sudo

No one wants to get this business.

MMA has a funny way of morphing into something totally different, very quickly. If you had seen footage of UFC 2 when infamous fetal fighter Fred Ettish made his debut, and compare it to footage of UFC 38 when Genki Sudo made his debut; you wouldn't know you were looking at the same sport.

On the other hand, this business looks, "not so bad."

His name in Janglish phonetically translates to "Happy Kind-of." which is how he makes you feel as he knocks people out with spinning dervish forearms to the face. Or when he attempts flying triangle chokes while he's already on the ground. Seriously, he's that bad ass. [Citation Needed.]

Many have attempted to mock his ringmanship and failed. Every prize fighter eventually has to make their intimidating walk to the ring. Some decide to go big or go home. After Genki Sudo, coming out to the ring with a planned, intricate, elaborate entrance, and not going balls to the fucking wall insane with it; you will be mocked or only sort of enjoyed. Genki Sudo has raised the bar of ring entrances to unreachable heights.

Explained? Are you fucking crazy? Who knows what the shit he's thinking! (3.5th dimension? 4th dimension?) Take one look at his official website and you're either going to fall in love (vagina not required.) or your head will explode from trying to make sense out of it. "How is this guy so fucking awesome!?" is what we scream into the air.

The best we can do here is give you a rundown of what makes him significant. Ever look at MMA and wonder how the flying monks in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" would be able to handle someone in the cage? Genki Sudo is that recluse Zen monk who refuses to fight for money. (But reluctantly takes the check.) In his own words early in his career he fought for fame and money, much to his young naivety. Upon seeing the error of his ways, he decided to fight for a message. The, "We Are All One." message.

Your guess is just as good as ours. We here at Cracked believe Genki Sudo is only really understood through motion. Whatever amount one could hope to understand him anyway.

That's why when he announced his retirement in 2006 his fans just folded their arms and waited for him to do a spinning-sidekick-armbar combination on the mic he was holding in his hands. That's seriously where they are still sitting today. In fact if you ask any Genki Sudo fan if he's going to make a comeback and chances are they will say, "I wonder who will be his comeback fight."

Genki has hit it off as a pop sensation, and since performing arts is what he's passionate about chances are even slimmer that Genki will ever fight again. Don't uncross those arms Genki fans, you know better. Chances are just as equally slim that Genki will have a press conference, sit down on the floor then levitate and announce that he's the Buddha.

In all seriousness, Genki Sudo's next opponent is rumored to be The Environment. While there is a few famous fighters that have lost their battle against The Environment, none have yet challenged it to a dance battle.

More important than his actual fighting record (There is such a thing, for all of you statistical purists.) is his impact on the fighting game. Flamboyant entrances and insane fighting style attempts aside, Genki Sudo was perhaps one of the most philosophical students of the game. Things that Kung Fu masters and Zen philosophers have only ever said, Genki Sudo put into practice.

Much as Jesus Christ may have been the LeBron James of compassion, Genki Sudo may have been the LeBron James of insane fight science. Genki was a master of pacing a fight. At times he seemed to dominate the negative space in the ring. Opponents often had no choice but to fight his fight, which meant they were likely to face Voldo from Soul Caliber, or Bruce Lee reincarnated. Sudo would push the boundaries of the fight game, and raise the expectations of your common fight fan. A spinning back kick-front stomp kick-spinning backfist-spinning backfist-spinning backfist combination was commonplace. Once Sudo even went so far as to wear the restraining Kung Fu gi in an MMA match, which he later admitted was a mistake.

Throughout Sudo's career as a combat sport athlete he would be plagued by reoccurring injuries. Compound that by fight politics, Sudo found himself in a hostile situation that was no longer what he was looking for. In 2005, Genki had suffered physically through a K-1 Heroes tournament. During this time K-1 officials were quoted as saying, "I wish Genki would stop gimmicking around and fight." Clearly they had no idea of the immense value of their treasure.

He had a habitual slipped disc in his neck, lingering knee injuries and a hostile work environment. So Genki steps up to a urinal and take's its sage like advice. "One step forward." was written on the floor of the restroom pointing to the urinal. This would inevitably lead to his retirement. (We couldn't make this shit up people.)

While he's retired from combat sports, he's not done being fucking awesome. He sings and dances, he also raises environmental awareness without the use of a private jet. He's continued to gain popularity in Japan, so who knows what new goals could be accomplished for the "Neo Samurai." Then again with his keen uses of the auto tuner it's only a matter of time before he's in a Jamie Foxx / T-Pain / Lil' Wayne music video.