Earthbound

Earthbound, or Mother 2 to give it it's native title is the product of giving large quantities of LSD to the already socially obscure Japanese culture. It was crazy before, but now it's crazy with colours and anthropomorfic vacuum cleaners.

...or in this case, just gas stations in general.

Just The Facts

  1. Earthbound is a classic SNES RPG, built on a diet of psychadelia and Hit-Point restoring Hamburgers.
  2. You control Ness, a protagonist with the power to alter the course of the future.
  3. You achieve this by controlling him through a linear series of events.
  4. The future is altered, much like you are altering your own future right now. By doing something other than nothing... But y'know, even then it still doesn't really make sense.

Holy Mother...

The story follows the young boy Ness as he experiences the worst acid trip of his life. Under the mistaken belief that all animals and inanimate objects have become possessed by pure evil, he embarks on a quest to beat the living shit out of anything that moves using his trusty baseball bat and ridiculously overpowered psychic abilities. Despite favouring the baseball bat, the psychic abilities can be used in a pinch to:

a) Stun.
b) Alter the course of the future.
c) Destroy everything by the power of thought.

Still, can't beat the charm of that baseball bat.

Throughout the adventure, Ness meets up with Paula, a fellow psychic, Jeff, a runaway child and conveniently advanced engineer, and Poo, who despite having a scatalogically unfortunate name and the handicap of still only being about ten years is old, is still one of the most revered martial arts masters in the game universe. These three companions follow Ness blindly into his hallucinogenic fantasy, not once batting an eyelid at his crazed ramblings and joining in willingly in the act of beating dogs and crows to death with a frying pan.

All adults in the Earthbound universe are oblivious to the evil happenings and are either under alien influence, invasion of the bodysnatchers style, or simply don't mind the sight of watching a group of children kicking a duck in the throat. Not all adults are useless however, as your permenantly absent father will distribute fatherly advice to you over the telephone and frequently send you money, to ease the guilt from a life of bad parenting.

Ness is spurred on only by the voices inside his head and the insane ramblings of Buzz Buzz the Bumblebee, a traveller from space, and the story culminates in a face off between the four heroes and Giygas, the ultimate evil, who represents a traumatic childhood experience on behalf of game creator Shigesato Itoi who claims it is representetive of a time when he stumbled into the wrong screen of a cinema and witnessed a horrific rape scene.

Earthbound: Building the basis for metaphors on loss of childhood innocence since 1994.

ADDED BONUS FEATURE: INSTRUCTION MANUAL... HOLY SMOKE!

ADDED BONUS FEATURE: INSTRUCTION MANUAL... HOLY SMOKE!