Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Featuring Pierce Brosnan!...for ten whole minutes. What the hell are you even doing reading about this.

GAH!!! Get that creepy thing away from me.

Why SHE will go watch it.

Why WE will go watch it.

Just The Facts

  1. The "Percy Jackson" young-reader series was written by Rick Riordan.
  2. The film was directed by Chris Columbus, known for the first three "Harry Potter" films and other family favorites such as, "Night in the Museum"
  3. NO!!!!! It's nothing like Harry Potter. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!

A little backround...

"Percy Jackson and the Olympians" started as a bedtime story by author Rick Riordan to her dyslexic, ADHD daughter. It was a greek mythology story about a dyslexic, ADHD demigod. HOORAY for Dyslexia and ADHD.

ADHD. Inspiring stories about great heroes for years!

his daughter then suggested that he make the story into a novel, and thus was the birth of a popular fantasy book series and another small little group of teen fans.

The first book of the series, "The Lightning Thief", involves the main character discoverin he's the son of Poseidon, god of the sea, earthquakes, and, for some reason, horses. Then, he goes on to find whose responsible for stealing Zeus's lightning bolt. The adventure consists of him fighting monsters like the minotaur, going to the underworld and back, and more importantly, BATTLING THE MOTHERFREAKING GOD OF WAR!...and, WINNING!

Yes, apparently, he did what we all thought Kratos was badass for doing.

Apparently, just as tough as a 12-year-old dyslexic kid

about this movie...

Okay so maybe I was exaggerating that Kratos thing a little bit...

Anyway, the director of this fine film is none other than the director of the first "Harry Potter" movies, Chris Columbus. The movies has two of the characters older than their source material counterparts. We don't get to see him fighting(SPOILER ALERT) Ares anymore. Instead, he fights a Backstreet Boy whith Converse shoes that have wings.

It stars Logan Lerman, a young child star who's known for starring along side othe famous actors as younger versions Here are just the facts:

1. He's one of those older teenagers that look like younger teenagers (Like Disney Channel actors).

2. He's a youtuber(no, seriously)

3. He's apparently, atrractive to many girls.

Another star is Pierce Brosnan, who many recognize as one of the many James Bonds.

And last, we have Medusa played by Uma Thurman. You people should know who she is.

How do those snakes take a shit?

It's dangerous to go alone...take this

This movie is the perfect example of mixed review. It got a 50% on the tomatometer and has an equal amount of reviews hating it or liking it. Box-Office-wise, Its the highest groosing fantasy film...that isn't Harry Potter, LOTR, or Narnia. That is the most hilarious thing I've ever read on Wikipedia.

As for those who were already fans of the series, most of them are at odds. I've heard people complain about why Grover, a supporting character, is black. They'll have to get over that once they realize how recist that sounds. Others complained about why Annabeth, another supporting character, is brunette instead of blond. They'll get over that too once they realize how RETARTED that sounds.

Most importantly, many people love to compare it to Harry Potter which may or may not have some thing to do with the director. These claims are ridiculous. It's not like they're all going to a magical....wait. And they're all tought by a wise man in a b...wait. And the boy learns that he has powers beyond his ....I'm going to shut up now.