Robot Love

Robots do not feel love. If a robot tells you it loves you then NUKE IT, NUKE IT NOW because it is only trying to lull you into a false sense of security before raping and/or pillaging your village.

I will rape your women and slaughter your livestock.

Just The Facts

  1. Robots do not feel love.
  2. If your robot feels love then thank your lucky stars, you son of a bitch. For Robot Love is the purest form of love out there.
  3. Fact 2 does not matter since Robots do not feel love.

Robot Love

While respected scientists, philosophers, physicists, and super models have tried, Robot Love continues to elude the scientific community. Even Cracked's top team of the highest minds have failed to unlock the key to the purest of all loves.

SWAIM! Come quick! I may have just discovered the first molecular dick joke!

Many other emotions have been captured, such as Robot Rage and Robot Lust. It is decided that Robot Love will forever be the unattainable goal of the science world...much like a Cracked writer who doesn't laugh at the word "balls."

Robots That Cannot Love

Since the dawn of moving pictures, Robots have dazzled and amazed the audience. Orson Welles himself once proclaimed "ROBOTS??!! FUCK YEA" [citation needed].
Some of these have been awesome (Terminator 1 and 2, Star Wars IV-VI), while some have forced us to throw our ICEEs at the screen and send the director pictures of our dicks with a cryptic "someday" scrawled in hooker spit (Terminator the Sarah Connor Chronicles, Star Wars I-III).
However, the one thing they all share in common is the simple fact that none of the robots can love. Here's a few:
  • The Bicentennial Man
  • D.A.R.Y.L.
  • Buck Rogers
  • Rodney
  • C3-PO
  • The Sentinels
  • Cylons
  • Battle Droids
  • Optimus Prime
  • T-Series 1000
  • Data
  • Fembots
  • Mechagodzilla
  • R2-D2
  • Sonny
  • ED 209
  • Kitt
  • Hal9000
  • T Series 800

Robots That Can Love

We bet you read the title of this section and thought "HAHA! I knew it! They were just trying to throw me off the trail! Now, Cracked, tell me where I can get all my robot love needs fulfilled."

We also bet you're retarded.

Robots cannot love.