Cat in the Hat

When the mom went away, the Cat came to play.


"The Cat in the Hat" was created as a retort to a "Life" magazine report. The article criticized children's books of the time. Probably because they didn't try to rhyme. The books portrayed children as proper and polite. When realistically they are a mischievous fright. So the challenges came in like the tides.

Like the Dude, Dr. Seuss abides.

The Cat in the Hat

The Cat in the Hat was created by Dr. Seuss. The year was '57 that the Cat was set loose. The story begins with the mother away. Leaving her children unattended that day. Presumably to get "A mothering award". The children were alone and bored. The kids were left contemplating incest, but are distracted by an unwanted houseguest. Striped hat and bow tie are the cats style.

Possibly a convicted pedophile.

The Cat proclaims the mother would approve, but listening to a home invader isn't a great move. So it's up to a fish to realize the danger of the antics suggested by this deranged stranger. By balancing on a ball the kids attention was cemented. At this time video games have not been invented. He's having his fun, he'll dance and he'll sing.

He even takes time to play with his thing.

Like a drunk in your house that you believe, even though the party is over, just wont leave. It's useful to have a buzzkill about to throw the asshole out. With the fish barking orders from a bowl he was able to convince the kids to get control. The boy stops the Cat, after growing some balls, and realizes all of their crap was knocked off the walls. The Cat returns to clean up his mess. The kids are left unsure whether or not to confess.

The Cat in the Hat Comes Back

The children are left alone once more. They're beginning to think their mom is a whore. This time they're left to shovel the snow. While their mother is out being a ho. Assuming the Cat has been paroled, he wanders up to get out of the cold. He breaks in the house and starts screwing with stuff, until the little boy has had enough. But the Cat had already left a pink spunk and starts ruining things to clean up this funk. But the Cat was not alone this day. He brought with him a mini-me named A. Little Cat A also sets free a smaller version named B and then C. Then more Cats ensue to clean up all this pink goo. All the letters are there now and with a boom, the Little Cat Z uses his VOOM. All the pink is gone now and who really cares how.

Cat in the Hat movie

With the reality that Hollywood is dying, books into movies is all they're supplying. Mike Myers portraying the Cat might be creepy but...

No, he's just freakin' creepy.