Douchebags

Douchebags live among us. Here is a guide to recognize, and more importantly, not become one yourself.

Some lucky girls.

Douchebags reproduce asexually, so they are created and not born.

How do you spot a Douchebag?

A Douchebag is a person with an over-inflated sense of self worth. Douchebags often put themselves out as an alpha male. The best way to distract a douchebag is by taking its picture because Doucebags are attention whores.

Chances are you have already seen a Douchebag. Here are a few tips on how to spot a Douchebag.

1. A Douchebag often wears sunglasses inside.

2. A Douchebag often has an open/no shirt.

3. A Douchebag often has a fake tan.

4. A Douchebag often has spiked hair.

5. A Douchebag often has loud jewelry (and it's usually fake).

6. Douchebags often have douchey tattoos (usually a Chinese character or barbed wire)

7. A Douchebag will often think he is in Europe, when in fact Douchebags have rarely left their hometown.

8. A Douchebag, if he is wearing a shirt, will pop the collar.

9. When a douchebag does wear a hat, he twists it slightly to the side.

10. Douchebags will readily give you two numbers: 1) Their telephone number, and 2) how much they can bench press.

11. A Douchebag often owns a bathrobe that is not made out of cotton.

12. A Douchebag wears socks with his sandals.

13. A person on a Segway is a Douchebag.

14. A Douchebag will listen to his "system" loudly at a stop sign with his windows down and then look around to see who is watching him.

Holy Fucking Quadfecta: