Sham-Wow

The multi use cleaning cloth used on everything from spilled cola to shining unicorn horns.

I think this guy owes me money

Has your pitchmen had his tongue bit by a prostitute recently? BOOYA

Ahhhh Yes

Just The Facts

  1. The Sham-wow has healing powers
  2. The pitchman, Vince Offer, made a comedy back in 1999 that the New York Times said was the worse comedy film ever made
  3. Biologists use sham-wows to clean the horns on narwhals

How Do You Make A Shaw-wow

The process to make a sham-wow is a carefully guarded secret. However, I have come across the secret ingredients and can only share them this once.

1) Tbsp of space dust.

2) Eight pounds of puppy dog fur.

3) A liter of horse tears.

4) The blessing of Ed Harris

This process requires the perfect harmony of all these items.

Thinking about making Sham-wows on the side? Not without this man's blessing

Whoaa Nellie

Know where I can score horse tears?

History of the Shamwow

Who is the genius behind sham-wow, Merlin, Alan Alda Henry or Kissinger? No one really knows. The history of this product is as murky as the liquids that it cleans up.
Originally, the Sham-wow was believed to have been invented by King Arthur's magician bro Merlin. The truth is, no one really knows. A recent archeological dig in Colorado has determined that this product was first around during the ice age. Scientists now believe that caveman used an early form of sham-wow to clean the husk of a saber cat.
Merlin did tinker with the design. Many knights in the round table used his sham-wow to shine their armor as well as their lances. Merlin's original sham-wow can be found at the Medieval Times in Orlando, ask for Francis.
Todd Stevens, the inventor of Crystal Clear Pepsi is credited with the patent design of the sham-wow back in 1988.

Did Merlin Invent The Sham-Wow?

How did Cavemen use the Sham-wow

I Want To Be Pitchman!!

I want to be a pitchman also!!
Slow down buster, not every person has what it takes. Take a few minutes for this test and let's see how you do.
Give yourself one point for each question that you answer yes to.
1)A prostitute has bit my tongue.
2)I have a mugshot on-line.
3)I am on meth as we speak.
4)I own more than three items that are made in Germany.
5)I ate yogurt for breakfast.
How did you do?
5 pts Who let Vince Offer in?
3-4 Nice job, you can pitch, but let's just stay on the state fair circuit for now.
1-2 Get out of my face ass-hole.

Vince Offer, pitching his newest product, the Slap Chop