Swears

Lets face it we'll download a song if it has fuck it the title, just because it sounds bad-ass. However there is a fine line to walk between between being bad-ass and a guido douchefag.&&(navigator.use

How to tell if your a douchebag 101

The physical interpretation of swearing

Just The Facts

  1. Swearing is best enjoyed at full volume.
  2. @#$% is often considered to be a swear word that has been muffled, Either due to cencorship in the cartoon world or a collapsed trachea in the real world.
  3. Swearing is a device used by many douche-fags in an attempt to sound bad-ass, when all they are doing is confirming their douchefaginess

My rant on swearing


Throughout history swearing has been labelled as vulgar, unnecessary, rude, and fucking badass. However, more recently people have decided to decide which words are decidedly swearing. Unfortunately these decision deciders have obviously got no idea in their heads what swearing is. Technically, swearing in this case is the use of profanity, but guess what profanity is, use of words or phrases that are interpreted as vulgar. So basically your grade 8 sex-ed text book is full of profanity, but I don't see the word intercourse and fuck switched around (would it kill to use some variety?) even though they mean they same thing. Why isn't there a children's book called everyone shits? I tell ya, if it wasn't for the interweb you'd never see these words anywhere. Except for....
POP_CULTURE
Yes, that underscore was meant to be there, it was a typo I added to make it look like I was so excited I used all caps, but really I'm just reaching out. But leaving my childhood abuse issues aside (but I'll never really forget Dongy the clown) I've got to admit swearing isn't always necessary. Sometimes people should just respect others cultural or religious feelings and refrain from the profanity. Because everyone has a right to control what they hear.
Unless your John mutha-fucking McClain. This is where I'm going to balance out the argument by saying how awesome your going to sound if you say this one phrase. "Yippy-ki-yay motherfucker". Because honestly, if you Bruce Willis uttered anything other than that, he'd just be another guy who killed about 30 people after being shot several times and has several pieces of glass lodged into his feet... Actually, it wouldn't matter if he said "I love everyone but to preserve the good I must kill you, I hope it doesn't hurt" he would still be bad-ass because he is MUTHA-FUCKING BRUCE WILLIS. And yes, I misspelt mother to deal with some childhood issues.
"I'll send you a fruit-basket if you survive the ride to the hospital" See? Still bad-ass
People can sometimes go overboard however, these people are usually stereotyped as people who have absolutely nothing to say except a about the latest mainstream pop song and how Eminem is still good. This is a typical sentence uttered from the mouth of one such semi evolved being is shown below:
"what a fuckin hoe, she had a fucking bitchin ride the little bitch fuck"
This basically translates into "my gender defining appendage is below average mass". These people generally try to compensate by using big words, however all they accomplish is sounding like Bruce Willis wannabes.
This was the first thing to show up when you search google for guido douche
So in conclusion saying fuck is no different from saying intercourse and shit is no different from bowel movement. However these words are put down by society as inappropriate. Which brings me to my next theory.
THE GOVERNMENT
In all actuality the government is trying to eliminate the human race by condoning those who use swear words as incapable lowlifes. This fits into their master plan, because if each person came up with their own unique phrase with an equal or greater badass/volume ratio than yippy-ki-yay mutherfucker, we would have the necessary badassery to survive the zombie apocalypse. If we survive they will be unable to rebuild the world in their lego themed paradise. So swear for the good of humanity. But don't be a douchefag about it. Like...
Oh Ya, they feels ya beotches