Toilet Paper

Thoughts on the War you didn't even know was going on, The War on Shit, wait thats not that catchie...... Shit Wars IV "A New Poop"... still shity

Shit Paper

Higgens, could you fetch me my bathroom tissue i just had Taco-Bell,

Just The Facts

  1. Its origin dates back as far as 1862.
  2. How toilet paper holder works "In the first case, the idea is that the toilet roll maintains contact with the door or wall as the roll's radius decreases. This provides enough friction to allow the user to tear off a piece of tissue. More sophisticated designs include a curved horizontal plate that
  3. If you grew up poor the center could easily be turned into a lightsaber.
  4. Toilet Paper was the cause of both The civil and Korean War.
  5. Tim Burton has to use alot of toilet paper because he Craps out all of his movie scripts thats why they smell so bad and have that shitty feel to them.

Shit happens

We've all had to poop, no matter who you are President, Homeless guy, or Movie star, you've taken a poop. Why then are we soooooooo uneasy about it, why have we as a People become so uptight about our Butts. I talk like this because even i have trouble talking about shit to my friends and family, which confuses me because i have no problem joking about Serial Killing and Puppy raping, but as soon as someone brings up Shit a hush falls over the room. The person who brouht up the shit now feels like a D-bag because he has alienated himself from his friends even though they to have pooped something weired, be it a penny or small woodland creature. While pondering this great mystery of life "Why Toilet Paper Isn't Advertised as Toilet Paper" I started thinking about our generation, i'm only 19 years old so i haven't seen woodstock, i didn't live through the cold war, and i sure as shit wasn't alive when Micheal Jackson was the greatest entertainer alive. I think about my generation because soon we will be the majority the future is aproaching fast and i think we should think about honesty with our asses. I don't care if i go through life and my generation doesn't cure cancer, discover a new planet, or end Crime, i just want to be able to call toilet paper Toilet Paper.

The Shit hits the fan

I understand i've spent way way to much time thinking about shit, but i'm just so Fucking confused because there are people out there that Fucking LOVE shit and want nothing more then a steaming pile of crap all over their chest. That is Fucking gross, and i bet outside of their freaky little Scat Cave where they do all of their sick little pooh games they feel weird when talking about shit. Maybe i'm just insane, or maybe i'm the most sane person on the planet, all i know is i want to be able to go into the Super Market to buy some Toilet Paper without having the feeling of shame like i'm a fucking puppy strangler, without getting a look from the asshole checkout guy who sees me buying an eightpack of toilet papper because it was on sale ( a look like he has never shit before in his life a look that says you're different then me asshole), and without feeling a need to double bag it so no one sees what i just purchased from the supermarket. Again, I REALIZE I'VE PUT WAY TOO MUCH THOUGHT INTO THIS, i'm just sooo very sick of all the political correctness we're forced to put up with, TOILET PAPER IS TOILET PAPER, to quote Stan Lee "Nuff Said."