"What did he just say to me?" (Have you ever been LOST in a conversation?) "Are my kids taking about SEX?" The Urban Dictionary can help.
The Urban Dictionary is an important tool of modern technology. Without the Urban Dictionary, many older White people may never know if teenagers are making fun of them. (Answer- they probably are making fun of you.)
Now you can arm yourself and be ready for the teenagers when they attack.
Keep in mind, the Urban Dictionary is an ever- expanding list. New words are added all the time. For example, "repuss". What does repuss mean? You do not know because it was just made up right now by a 14 year old kid from Intercourse Pennsylvania. (Intercourse- Amish Country.)
The Urban Dictionary is NOT in alphabetical order. Instead, it follows the "fluid method", and I am basically too lazy to do it the right way.
Let's begin, here is our first term:
Moobs- often confused with the tribes of Mongols who invaded Greece many years ago, Moobs are large breasts that appear on men. (Usually overweight men, however we are not ruling out skinny men who are undergoing a sex-change operation, OR lesbians with excessive chest hair.)
Package- refers to a drug deal: IE- "The package has arrived." OR- the crotch area of a male.
Muffin- a baked good; OR a woman's vagina. Usually a muffin is stuffed with something: raisins, nuts, blueberries, etc. (Aaahh, that would be the "baked good" muffin, not the "vagina" muffin.) Unlessâ�¦ oh never mind.
Mob- sometimes confused with organized crime. MOB means- "Money over bitches."
Money over Bitches- You will always have sexual intercourse with women, that goes without saying; however, you will never allow "bitches" to get in the way of making money. (Or letting "bitches" take your money.)
Bitches- women you never plan to marry. (Yea, like you are going to call a future wife a "bitch", we will see how far THAT gets you.)
Metrosexual- a gay man who has yet to tell people that he is gay. Usually the metrosexual watches the HG channel on TV, and asks people if his jeans make his butt look big, yet he still pretends to like sports and searches for chicks.
Chicks- women who hang out in clubs and bars. Not to be confused with "bitches." Chicks are women who you do not know well enough yet to call a "bitch."
Retox- what you do after leaving a rehab, or a detox center. Beloved family and friends might throw a "retox party" for you to get you hooked back on drug..
Shizzle- I agree; we agree
Shorty- any person who doesn't have the experience in life that you do. OR- a forty once bottle of beer. OR- a FINE looking female. OR- a tall guy. OR- a short guy. Hell, whatever you want "shorty" to mean, have at it?
Shawty- a fine ass girl
Ass Girl- a female who has an ass
Ballin- playing basketball; OR-crying; OR- living the life of a high roller- wealthy; OR- having sex; OR-setting your testicles on fire while trying to light a fart with a match.
Tosser- someone who masturbates. OR-Someone you hate. OR-Someone who would take the time to write an "Urban Dictionary."
Verbal masturbation- the act of writing an "Urban Dictionary"; OR-the act of using BIG words to make yourself feel smarter, but not really saying anything. OR-Masturbating during English class.
Tool- a person who is being used, or made fun of, but doesn't realize it; slang for a male penis; something men search for in a hardware store.
The Shit- something that is good, great. Not to be confused with "shit", which is bad. IE- "This pizza is THE SHIT." (good pizza) "They call this SHIT pizza?" (bad pizza) However, with drugs the definition reverts- "Where did you get this SHIT?" (good drugs.) "We do not want to get stuck with THE SHIT we got last time." (Bad drugs.)
Pimp hand- the ability to control your whores and bitches. Keeping them in line. OR- a person so ugly, that they have to pay their own hand money to have sex with themselves.
Peeps- short word for "people", OR- a person who looks into other people's windows, OR- rubbery marshmallow candy in the shape of a bunny or chicken which is seen during Easter, and causes vomiting, and makes children run into walls.
Poontang- the female vagina; OR- the act of getting into the female vagina; OR- a marshmallow candy found during Easter which causes vomiting.
Pootie Tang- a movie featuring Wanda Sykes, Lance Crouther, and Chris Rock. OR- a sexual act.
Hoochie- take a look at your mother. Does she wear tight dresses with her ass hanging out? Are her breasts mostly exposed and does she wear tons of make up? Do you have 15 brothers and sisters ALL from different fathers? Do guys named Bubba and Billy Bob spend the night in your mother's bedroom? If so, then you know the definition of "hoochie."
Hood Rat- a girl who sleeps around the neighborhood, OR- a rat from your neighborhood.
Butter face- A person who is hot, except they have an ugly face. IE- "That girl's body is hot, BUT-HER-FACE is ruff." OR- an Amish girl who churns butter real fast.
AssClown- come on..?? You can figure this one out
Wet Pussy- a cat that has been out in the rain
Eargasm- hearing great music could give you an "eargasm". OR- having sex with someone's ear.
Va jay jay- slang for vagina. OR- an original member of "The Osmand Brothers" pop band.
Mo fo- slang for a person who has sex with a mother. OR- something that is good. IE- "That car is a Mo Fo." Translation: "That car is good."
Mo Fi- same as Mo Fo, except the meaning is leaning more towards something that is good, and less about having sex with a mother. However, if a mother is very good looking, she could be a Mo Fi. (Example) "That Mo Fo is doing that Mo Fi." Translation- That guy, who has sex with mothers, is having sex with that good looking mother.
Axe- Ask, Axing- asking.
The Time- means: sex. IE- "I wouldn't give you THE TIME." Translation- "I will not be having sex with you." (example-2) If a woman walks up to you and asks: "Do you have THE TIME?" It means that she wants to have sex with you.
Dawg- good; my friend
Dog- bad; ugly; asshole
Eat out- The act of going to a restaurant and eating, then performing oral sex on a girl.
This concludes The Urban Dictionary, for now. Remember, this dictionary is always growing like "buzzile." See, I just made up a new word and you do not know what it means?
Written by Rick Ray for Cracked