Organic Chemistry

Organic Chemistry is the branch of Chemistry that deals with many Carbon-related compounds. It is a major reason for steroids, explosives, your shoe soles and student-suicides.

No, you didn't enter the Arts class.

That was the only question he had attempted

Just The Facts

  1. Organic Chemistry is a discipline which deals with the nomenclature, structures, reactions and other boring stuff of Hydrocarbon-based molecules.
  2. In other words, it's the chemistry that deals with Biology.
  3. Apart from the cross-dressing transsexual Midget(Hydrogen) and the Whore(Carbon) the concerned compounds sometimes also include their straight cohorts, namely the-guy-that-burns(Oxygen) and the guy-that-doesn't-burn(Nitrogen).
  4. The fact that every student studying it knows: OChem is Evil(No Seriously). So evil that it can make you believe a page about its excruciatingly boring concepts can be passed off as comedy in a medium where videos of Singing cats are considered Entertainment.

The Motherfucking Carbon

(Ha-ha. Motherfucking. Heh.)

Compounds that are studied under Organic Chemistry mostly have Carbon chains as their skeletons. Carbon has came up so many times in this page till now because its unique among its buddies. Its the playboy in the Periodic Table. It has the property of tetravalency which means it can have four different relationships simultaneously it does not give a shit about. Cool, eh?

"Who's the man now, bitch?"

Yeah, and also, its Gay. Yup. It exhibits the property of catenation most efficiently. Which means that one Carbon atom can shove its nicely lubricated microscopic dick into another Carbon atom's gaping wide asshole and have another Carbon atom shove its dick into its own asshole at the same time. So it fucks and gets fucked simultaneously. Thus, resulting in large infinite chains.

So they were teaching about Carbon in a gay-orgy with its clones all this time.

Like this, only with dicks. Lots of dicks.


Those two properties that that make Carbon a unique whore element also make it possible to have millions of compounds based on Carbon as it can just go on making large chains of its clones fucking one another. Now, all these compounds will be unique and different from its constituent elements just like the Ultrazord. So all these compounds having distinct characteristics need names. Now, the IUPAC, which stands for "People who have no job other than creating pointless conventions in Chemistry" had run out of scientists' and their butlers' names in naming all the elements and other boring naturally occurring phenomena. And naming them as a random combination of numbers and letters - like NASA does with asteroids - posed a few problems as scientists couldn't get Hard Drives to fit inside their heads.

So they created a set of really simple rules to name any compound based on its structure. This solved goatshit as students and chemists continued committing hara-kiri until God stopped being a dick and blessed humans with Google Search.


Now these large chain of floating of gay-clones having sex with midgets aren't stable. One doesn't blame them. When exposed to another floating chain of gay-clones having sex with midgets or just someone with a dick, they react to form new compounds. This of course, like we said before, is because Carbon changes its "buddies" like we change our undergarments.

"As you can see, OH has a wider asshole..."