The Doors

The Doors were a musical act consisting of Jim Morrison and three other guys no one ever remembers. They are responsible for bringing 'edgier' lyrics and poetry to the masses, as well as many, many bad acid trips.

Hint: it helps to be really, really high.

This is the cover of their album Strange Days and pretty much the visual equivalent of their music.

Wrong kind of door.

Just The Facts

  1. The Doors is a musical foursome consisting of vocalist Jim Morrison, keyboardist Ray Manzarek, drummer John Densmore, and guitarist Robby Krieger.
  2. Their name is taken from the Alduous Huxley book The Doors of Perception. They are not named The Doors because they are all doors who somehow became sentient and started making music (Although that would be kind of sweet).
  3. They probably spent more money on booze and drugs than you will make in your lifetime.
  4. People are strange, when you're a stranger.

History of the Doors.

The Doors were created in 1965 when UCLA film school student Jim Morrison showed fellow film school student Ray Manzarek some of his poetry. Instead of kicking his ass for being such a wuss, Ray decided that the poetry was pretty good, and asked Morrison if he wanted to form a band instead of becoming directors or cameramen or the clean-up crew for a porn company. They recruited John Densmore and Robby Krieger to solidify their lineup.

By 1966, they had released their self-titled first studio album. Notable singles include "Break On Through (To the Other Side)," "Light My Fire," and the 12-minute long epic titled "The End." Francis Ford Cappola used "The End" in the now iconic scene from Apocalypse now, which has been parodied by everyone from SNL to the Animaniacs.

When 1967 came around, Ed Sullivan thought about getting into some of this 'psychedelic' music the kids were listening to nowadays and booked the Doors to play on his show not once, but seven freaking times; however, the first time they played the show would be their last. Ed Sullivan or one of his cronies (he had cronies, right?) told Jim Morrison to change the lyric in the song "Light My Fire" from the awesome "Girl, we couldn't get much higher" to the absurdly-not-rhyming-nor-near-as-awesome "Girl, things couldn't get much better." Jim Morrison allegedly agreed before the show, but left the lyric in his live performance. He screamed the word 'higher' like a drunken chimpanzee, then walked over and slapped Ed Sullivan and all of his cronies in the face with his dick, presumably lining them all up in some sort of assembly line of cock-thwapping the likes of which haven't been seen since Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclimation and a crew of plantation owners in Georgia finally got their comeuppance.*

*citation needed for pretty everything past the word chimpanzee. Also, apologies for comeuppance.

Needless to say, Ed Sullivan wasn't putting up with that shit. He promptly cancelled the remaining six shows, to which Morrison, not a man to be made content by just a literal member-mashing, replied "Hey man, so what? We just did the Ed Sullivan show." Manzarek then reportedly shouted "Oh no he di-int!" before snapping his fingers in a 'Z' type motion.

They released their second album, Strange Days, in1967. Despite a rediculous album cover and a whole bunch of insane and weird songs about insanity and weirdness, it was met with mediocre sales. I can't imagine why.

After that, the strange life of Jim Morrison got a little bit stranger. On December 9, 1967, the Doors performed a concert in New Haven, Connecticut. Morrison was in the bathroom with a groupie before the show, when a cop barged in and informed them that the bathroom is one of the least sanitary places to do the nasty. Also, he demanded to know why it smelled like reefer. Morrison allegedly became belligerent towards the cop, who, unlike Ed Sullivan, had mace and was willing to use it. Morrison, post-burning-face, went up on stage and started ranting about the incident. He belittled the New Haven police, probably calling them something like "Cock-blocking no-good-bacon-smelling dirty-macing sons of bitches."

Even the mug shot was dark and brooding.

Needless to say, the New Haven police weren't too happy about this. They didn't want to be exposed as the cock-blocking no-good-bacon-smelling dirty-macing sons of bitches they actually were, and promptly arrested Morrison, causing a riot at the venue.

A few years pass, one more riot almost gets started, another album (Waiting for the Sun) gets put out, Morrison starts getting so messed up before shows he sometimes collapses on stage...

Ah, here we go. On March 1, 1969, Morrison takes the stage in Miami. He had just seen some art house film and felt inspired to act like an asshole, which included, but was not limited to, behavior such as: pretending to not give a shit about the audience, ranting at the audience, screaming challenges at the audience, making intense social statements, and flashing his dick while on stage. Yep, you read that last part right. No, I'm not making shit up this time. He really whipped it out and swung it around. Needless to say, the show was cancelled only an hour into the set list and a warrant was issured for Morrison's arrest four days later. Jim Morrison was flinging his dick around, ON FUCKING STAGE, and the good ol' Miami Police department couldn't get around to getting a warrant until four whole days later.

If you can't tell, we're kinda busy, what with all the man-hugs and finger pointing that need to be done around here. Not to mention the cocaine.

All right, let's skip ahead a few years and see if things don't start looking up for Mr. Morrison. Three more albums get released: The Soft Parade (which kind of sucked), Morrison Hotel (The best song on this album is called "Peace Frog," which should tell you something), and L.A. Woman (contains the epic "Riders on the Storm." You're dad totally got laid to that song, probably more than once).

Then, on July 3rd, 1971, Jim Morrison did something amazingly out of character for a brooding, chronic-hard-drug using, alcohol abusing poet. He died, in Paris, at the age of 27. It is believed that he died of either a heart attack or heroin overdose, but no official autopsy was done. He is a member of the "27 club," a group of influental musicians who have died at the age of 27, including Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Kurt Cobain, among others.

Also, he has joined the illustrious group of dead people who some people don't think are really dead, along with Elvis and, much later, Tupac.

As for the rest of the band members... well, you don't even want to read about them. I mean, could you even tell me their names without scrolling back up?

Didn't think so.