Romantic Movies

Romantic movies are like a shot of sugar straight into your heart.

Just The Facts

  1. Men hate romantic movies, becuase they are boring and girly.
  2. Women hate romantic movies, becuase they are stereotypical.
  3. Yet somehow the top 5 romantic movies of this decade made $958,636,389.
  4. And they did this with budgets of around 10 million...

Cracked on Romantic Movies

February is the month when romance is shoved down our throat until we puke teddy bears and small heart-shaped candy with cute messages. Everyone gives out roses, like we want to harvest that damned plant right into extinction and couples who don't have anything to talk about flock into movie theaters to watch the latest romantic movie; and you know something? We love every second of it!

Just another Valentine's Day.

Sure, as a group of sophisticated internet comedy writers/ readers we're supposed to rant until we're foaming at the mouth, mentioning plot holes the size of Matthew McConaughey's ego and cardboard characters who can't event manage to be a stereotype. We're supposed to be insulted by the way misunderstandings, that could be solved in a 2 minute phone call, span over years or how the main acctresses always forget they have another boyfirend/ husband/ fiancee. But who are we kidding? Everybody loves romantic movies, and we mean EVERYBODY!

Don't believe us? Name a horrible romantic movie, a movie pretty much everyone agrees they hated.

Fools Gold? Remember this horrible wanna-be Indiana Jones spin-off? Generally critics agree this movie is "Dead behind its eyes." It made $111,231,041 worldwide

Failure to Launch? Hey, at least this one had somewhat of a cohesive plotline. For that it made $128,406,887 worldwide

Norbit? A depressing wanna-be comedy about stereotypes? $159,313,561 worldwide, although a few of us paid just to see Eddie Murphy in a fat suit...

In fact, you know what? Most people don't even care what the movie's plot is; as long as there are decent looking actors and situations that would normally end up with somebody beeing arested, we'll buy a big pack of pop-corn and be there early so we can have good seats.

Shakespear rip-off? God, we love it

Sprinkle some awkwardness, indie music and absolutely no coherent plot-line.

Actually, could we just throw a bunch of different stories together and call it a day?

In case that doesn't work, just add some movie magic

You see, at the end of the day romantic movies aren't about who you are, or how you enjoy your movies, or even your ability to follow a hour long plotline without getting distracted by something shinny; it's all about some basic voyeuristic animal instict that demands we watch other people make-out. So pull up that box of bommbons and gorge yourself as you become an uncontrolable sobbing mass during the end credits, just like everyone else out there...