Judas Priest

Judas Priest the metal band hugely known for their ability to kill off their own fans... but only ones with a deep ingrained hatred for the humble stylus and its accompanying turntable...

Halford Toon...

Just The Facts

  1. Judas Priest formed in Birmingham, England in 1969.. as two of the members of the band met in nursery I sincerely doubt that they aimed to kill any fans
  2. They get their name from a Bob Dylan song "The Ballad of Frankie Lane and Judas Priest".
  3. We knew subliminal messages existed, but really ignored it. Unless we were all named David Icke. So the media whipped up a frenzy when two kids killed themselves after listening to the subliminal messages on a Judas Priest album.

What do we all want to know really?

WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD is the story with the subliminal messages? No really. Because they kinda did an autopsy on what was left of the boys and they where pretty high. In fact out there high. Plus they'd had chasers for the high (they weren't really boys either, that was a media thing to attract attention, at least one of them was around 20 and the other was 18). They'd listened to Judas Priest whilst they were getting a little tipsy and a little high. I have a question firstly about the whole thing, did these guys own any other records? Had they listened to any other records that day? Or was there a remote chance just a tiny chance they were out of their pot ridden minds?

So lets take a deeper look at Judas Priest for a minute

Well first lets look at the name, its inspiring really so maybe thats why the parents of subliminal message children were so upset. Judas being a back stabbing little murderer for one and obviously we then add the word Priest into the equation. That last bit alone is enough to make a shiver run down your spine. Then we have to look at what the main evidence that was presented in a court of law, the words 'Do it' were said to be heard coming from the record in question. I think its time Nike changed there slogan if thats the case, they should be very scared. Plus do what exactly? Could (if the message ever have existed that is) hypothetically now, could it have meant 'Do it', as in go and create a perfect world, make bio fuel, change politics and the economic situation and become the best that you can be? Then the band members we need to look at carefully... are these men the cold blooded killers who could orchestrate carnage on such a scale? In a word. No.

Why would Judas Priest make lousy killers?

Well in 1990 there were a select few listening to the niche market that was heavy metal, in fact its still a niche market now, just MTV like to cater for everyone and make more money in advertising so have added a channel totally dedicated to heavy metal, punctuated with long bursts of advertising for products totally unrelated and probably deadly boring to a real metal head; in fact MTV could possibly make better killers than Judas Priest, because they slowly kill you with adverts. Any how I diverse, Most people were listening to trance and hip hop in 1990, I was there so I kind of remember it. But the point is there just weren't that many metal fans out there, except the old tag along with the band kind, so having fans in there late teens early twenties was an accomplishment. An accomplishment you wouldn't want to mess with, because in the music business you WANT people to buy your records. Fact is a lot of the big name bands are not paid that well after royalties, studio fees and production company pie slices. So you want lots and lots of people to buy your records. You don't want those people dead though (and some of the tag along fans were getting along in years) because so far we haven't figured out a way for a dead person to use Amazon. Back then we couldn't grasp the idea of a dead person using a record player either. So they wanted the fans alive. They weren't that bored with roadies honestly, the food possibly but not the roadies.

Next we move on to the tragedy of it all...

...... the death of the humble turntable and its small accoutrement the stylus. Because to hear these subliminal messages you had to play the record back wards. Which is hugely damaging to the good vinyl us oldies used back then and also to the player itself. So here we mourn the belt drive. The belt created by a great man who decided that it should turn in the correct direction to make a record play correctly and a stylus gently bounce its way across the surface without damage nor hurt to anyone or anything. Just blissful bass beats, drums and lead guitar. So these kids were probably hearing a little 'Do it' before they shot themselves or listened to Judas Priest. Because they murdered a good quality stereo before anything got really out of hand. Just so their parents could prove that they'd been hypnotised by the evils of Judas Priest and they wouldn't have to take any after life flack for playing a record backwards, snapping a harmless belt drive and making that stylus bounce like a kid on a trampoline. Those boys are currently in a pretty tough place and its filled with pop stars, just so they can feel the torment of that turntable.

Hypnotised by heavy metal is a great idea, I love it. But maybe we could get more parents to be hypnotised by this evil means. We could mesmerise them into locking their gun cabinets and keeping them locked. We could also mesmerise them into teaching their kids basic self esteem and gun safety whilst feeling depressed.