5 Trippiest Things You Can Ever Do

How is this a topic, you ask? I mean, "The 5 Trippiest Things You Can Ever Do?" No one knows. Except us. We know. But aside from we, no one knows... until 6 minutes from now when you, too, will know. Because we're listing them right... now.

This insures trippiness of a great magnitude.

Just The Facts

  1. Trippiness is not actually a word. It is as much of a word as fangdabiline is a word.
  2. Tripping could be considered the act of taking a trip, or traveling to a destination.
  3. Tripping could also mean a hallucinatory experience, i.e. an acid trip.

5. This...

"Aww, he's coming closer. Hey Bill, does it look like his paw is balled up like a fist?"

"Aww, he's coming closer. Hey Bill, does it look like his paw is balled up like a fist?"

Do we need to tell you why this is trippy? Fine. This is trippy because this fierce mammoth of a face pounding kangaroo was once the head of security for Biggie Smalls and Tupac Shakur ... and they both still got shot. How does that happen? Police had him as a suspect in both murders, but cleared him after he punched everyone in the police force in the face. The jackass in the picture was a paparazzi, he is survived by his two cats. A Kangaroo security guard possibly killing the most famous East and West Coast rappers and getting away with it by punching officers of the law... triptastic.

4. Find the End of a Rainbow

Today, I found the end of the rainbow and ran over the leprechaun... FML.

Finding the end of a rainbow wouldn't be that trippy, but fortunately for you poor souls, we decided to find out if it could be and our research took us on a journey we will not soon forget. Apparently, the common thought is that the end of the rainbow has a friendly little leprechaun waiting to fork over his pot of gold. This is false. The end of the rainbow has something much more terrible defending the pot of gold, which makes since due to the fact that it is a pot of gold. The following picture depicts what the actual end of the rainbow holds for treasure seekers:

Ends of rainbows suck.

That's right, Balorbliak, or, translated into English, the guardian of all that glimmers in a rainbow. When we stumbled upon the end of the rainbow, we were thrilled... until we saw Balorbliak. Just imagine how "tripped out" we were when we saw that thing. What was even more trippy was the fact that Balorbliak had a thorn stuck in his paw. We've read Aespos Fables and we went in for the pull. While Balorbliak was freaking out, thrashing about, the three of us pulled out the thorn. Bad move. Turns out the thorn was really just part of Balorbliak's charm bracelet. Man was he pissed. Just imagine how trippy that shit is again. Not only does the end of a rainbow not have leprechauns, it has furry, white, fanged, beady-eyed, crimes against nature guarding the pot o' gold and they wear charm bracelets. Obviously, our quest for the pot of gold is over due to an inordinate amount of "trippiness."

3. Buy a Furby, Drop Some Acid, Wait Till After Midnight, Feed the Furby After Midnight

Follow these steps to unending trippiness! Hoo-ray!

Well, this one was easy. Furbys look like Mogwais, which are from the movie Gremlins. In that movie, if you fed the things after midnight, all hell broke loose: they turned into tiny little corporate CEO's, through on monocles, made popcorn and didn't share a damn thing other than their teeth, which they used for biting, which, you could argue, isn't sharing, but rather hurting. Also, according to the DEA's website, if you use acid, or LSD, or Hendrix-music, you're gonna see some fucked up shit, like your books melting, or trees dancing around trampolines. Chances are, if you follow the aforementioned steps, you're gonna see something really trippy. You may think that right now we're thinking something like this:

Oh Mr. Jim Carrey! You are a hoot!

but we're actually thinking something like this:

"Is that guy spewing a trio of baby porcupines, because that seems a bit much."

2. Actually Tripping off the Top of Mount Rushmore

It's trippy to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on Mt. Rushmore.

So you sat on your couch your whole life, working over noobs on Halo or gankin tards on WoW and you thought, "Man, I should go live life." You compiled a list and number one on that list was, "see Mt. Rushmore." So you travel and once you get there, you decided to climb the 4-faced behemoth and scream, as loud as you can, "I'm the king of the world!" probably because DiCaprio has gotten much cooler since Titanic so it's okay to quote his former work now. But, you forgot that life is ironic, like two-thousand spoons when all you need is a knife and midway through shouting, "king" you trip, you fall and all that you say is, "I'm the kin.. oh my god, I came here to live life and see things and now all I'm seeing is my death, man this is trrrriiiiiippppppppyyyyyy *splat.*" How correct you are, dead shadow dude. Very trippy in both the literal and non-literal "man, that sucks" kind of ways. We admit it, we have no clue what literal means. Oh well, when in Rome...

1. Walk in on Your Parents...

wearing and doing this.

Just imagine how tripped out you'd be brosef! We'll paint the picture for you,

"I'm just whistling on my way home. *a tee tee tee hee hee tee wee see wee tee dee dee dee* Hey mom and dad, I'm home early, apparently one of the teacher's went to Mt. Rushmore and fell off Washington's face [OMG DOUBLE TRIPPY!], so we got out early. Hello, mom, dad? Hello? *a tee dee fee jee wee dee pee* Mom? Dad? Are you in there? [you knock on the door, sidenote, our parentheses keys are broken] Why is techno hardcore death rap playing from your room? I wonder...hmmm. I should take a look-see. [you open the door] *a wee tee d* HOLY SHIT! A giant pink/black Mickey Mouse is holstering Mom who happens to be wearing the same outfit as s dominatrix!" [Then Al Gore knocks a hole in the wall and says:] "Timmy, that's not a giant pink/black Mikey Mouse, it's a giant pink/black Mouse-Bear-Pig. [OMFG! TRIPLE TRIPPY]. That's right, we just described a scenario that can only be called Triple Trippy.

Fact: This is the scenario that was the basis for the Award Winning Movie, "Mousehunt," starring Nathan Lane.