Plumbing

Plumbers have long served mankind helping to provide fresh water for drinking, bathing, and making tasty slushy treats. Modern cities could not exist without the techniques that plumbers have developed over the last few millenniums.

Greatest of all time

Just The Facts

  1. Thomas Crapper did not invent the toilet but did make various improvements to it and helped spread its popularity.
  2. As of 2004 approx. 1 billion people did not have access to an improved water source, meaning they had to collect water from streams, rivers, lakes, etc.
  3. An average day in the life of a plumber includes daring feats such as jumping on turtles and saving princesses

Plumbing Terms

Pipe-A hollow piece of metal used to allow water to flow or to beat money out of people.

Tubing- Almost the same a pipe, but you never beat anyone with a tube, that's just sick.

Nipple- A short piece of pipe used to connect two other fittings. A close nipple has little or no area between the two threads, or it's a sex move. I forget which.

Tap- The only thing that is separating us from our cold, delicious beer. Also can be used for water if you are into that sort of stuff.

Male and Female- Terms used to identify if a pipe is screwing or getting screwed, if you still don't get it, ask your parents

Pipe Fitter- Can be used interchangeably as a term for a person who installs and maintains mechanical piping systems or a gigolo.

Street Elbow- The hermaphrodite of elbows. A street elbow is type of elbow that has male and female threads.

History of Plumbing

Ancient

Plumbing has a long history in the world. As early as 2700 B.C. Greece, India, Persia, Rome and China had already had the genius notion that they should not eat, drink and sleep among their own body wastes. They also saw the importance of aquiring potable drinking water. This led to the inventions of the aqueduct, pit toilet, and the water screw. Some Babylonian citizens even had primitive toilets and cess pools right under their houses. Romans had heated baths with water brought to them in lead pipes. Everything was progressing well until the fall of Rome.

Dark Ages

Not much changed with plumbing during the dark ages. In fact, European cleanliness regressed after the fall of the Roman empire. Instead of public baths and sewers, most of Europe rarely bathed and biological waste was thrown into the streets. No real progress was made until the 19th century.

Not a gravy boat

This is a chamberpot. Do NOT mistake it for the gravy boat.

19th Century to Present

In the 1800's plumbing really started to take off again. Sewers and water mains were built in cities. Gas mains ran underneath streets. Copper and steel pipe replaced lead and wood pipe. Everything that you know and love about modern plumbing was being developed. This led to much cleaner cities than could ever have been imagined. Yes, we are riding high on our porcelain horse and all will be well until we run out of water.

Do not try this epicness at home

Future

As humans continue to populate this great earth, more and more water will be needed. Even now water saving devices are being set up in homes around the world. Some toilets are even set up to easily flush with grey water. What ever the future brings, plumbers will be ready for it.

Plumbing Quotes

"There is no question that our health has improved spectacularly in the past century. One thing seems certain: it did not happen because of medicine, or medical science, or even the presence of doctors. "Much of the credit should go to the plumbers and engineers of the western world. The contamination of drinking water by human feces was at one time the greatest cause of human disease and death for us...(but) when the plumbers and sanitary engineers had done their work in the construction of our cities, these diseases began to vanish. "
- Lewis Thomas (medical researcher and essayist)

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd be a plumber."
- Albert Einstein

"Anybody who has any doubt about the ingenuity or the resourcefulness of a plumber never got a bill from one."
- George Meany