Twilight Graphic Novel

Recently Stephenie Meyer announced she is launching a Twilight graphic novel series. As expected the comic book community took this as a personal insult.

It needs a little more gay...

Just The Facts

  1. Stephenie Meyer is kind of a writer, but has never produced anything that could be considered real writing.
  2. Her novels have become immensely popular in the young-adult-soft core pornography-retarded-fat teenage girl market, and have been made into feature films.
  3. Unsatisfied with her stranglehold on literature and film, she decided to delve into the medium of Superman, Spider-Man, and Batman to spread her poison.

What the Graphic Novel Will Most Likely Look Like...

EW.com announced that the new graphic novel would be drawn in the manga-style, and the characters would not just be bad drawings of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison. It will be far, far worse than that.

Meyer was quoted saying;

"Her Bella is the Bella I had in my mind's eye the first time I read Twilight; her Edward is the Edward I always imagined. It took me back to reading Twilight pre-movie: Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson faded into the background."

"I've enjoyed working on this new interpretation of Twilight," said Stephenie Meyer. "Young Kim (the artist on the series) has done an incredible job transforming the words that I have written into beautiful images. The characters and settings are very close to what I was imagining while writing the series."

Meyer has promised to go over every page herself for approval before the books are published. Because of this, the final books are expected to have more glitter, many hearts with "SM+EC 4-Ever" drawn on random pages, and plenty of Meyer's own masterbation juices soaked into the art.

Volume 1 will go on sale on March 16. It will be published by Yen Press, the graphic novel imprint of Hachette, with volume 2 in the works. It is expected on March 17 the rest of the literary world will ostracize Yen Press for releasing this abortion into the world.

Twihards, (aka Twilight retards), feedback has been very positive. Most have been heard saying "totally," "hot," and "random" when questioned about the new graphic novel. Comic book nerds have been understandably mortified, citing this as an intrusion on their medium. With the line between two sets of nerds officially drawn, it is up to the normal people of the world to not give a shit.