College Movies

Ahh... college movies bring back fond memories of me and my friends sitting around and talking about how awesome college will be, that whole time we were mesmerized by a combination of beer, drugs, and bare breasts.

the drugs are in there somewhere...

Just The Facts

  1. you have watched a college movie at some point in time
  2. you didn't watch it for the plot and are very ashamed
  3. no your not

The characters and plot

the characters in college movies are always the most important part... well... ok the boobs are, but characters are a close second. the main character is usually a virgin or the new kid someone the audience can realate to. Hell sometimes there isnt even a main character, just a random collaboration of drinking and pulling pranks. The secondary characters are who the audience wants to associate with but cant, the stoner, the jock, the party animal, the horndog, the bro, and the nerd who gets the hot chick. im convinced that most of these people exist in real life, but that if i meet them they will steal all of my cash for drugs and booze.theres a dead body in that trunk

Now plots in college movies can get kinda weird, and by kinda i mean international jewel theif whos after money disgused as a forigen exchange student is trying to beat a hooker in a race against time weird, and thats one of the few that made the most sense. in a sense a plot is just filler untill the next party scene or the next prank scene, most of the people watching these moves are still in junior high and the humor in most of the movies shows that. take for example Animal House almost all of its jokes are aimed towards either drunk adults or young teens, and its awesome.

the sheer amount of beer

in most college movies the main characters are shown drowning in a sea of frothy ale from start to finish, the question i constantly ask myself is where do they get all of this beer? is it because they make it themselves, are they all rich, or is it cthulu trying to mess with the human psyche yet again? i like to believe that its a point of view from the beer-virgin of a main character, he begins to see everything that is drinkable as beer in a syndrome i like to call "hopsgalore"as terrifying as it is awesome

finally the titties

Boobs in college movies are almost as abundant as the word "fuck" in a quentin tarantino film, they seem to spring out from the plot at random moments shocking all that see them. now the biggest misconception about college is that its exactly like the movies, every party is an orgy and every orgy is a party, the harsh reality is that the only tits you will see at a normal party is that drunk chick with puke on her'd still hit that