Nostradamus lived in the early to mid 1500's, a time when (according to Wikipedia) Japanese piracy was on the rise. In this topsy-turvy world a man was needed to try to give peace and calm the world. Nostradamus was not this man.

With looks like those, one has to wonder why he ever turned to writing.

Just The Facts

  1. Nostradamus is considered by some to be a prophet, predicting such historic events as the rise of Hitler, the 9/11 attacks, and the Great Fire of London.
  2. All of this is utter bullshit.

The 'Prophet'

Throughout his life Nostradamus would write hundreds of predictions in quatrain form, most of the simply insulting the Catholic Church (Hey, the cool kids were doing it.) His predictions came from reading the stars, something which isn't used by most people nowadays mainly because of the fact that it doesn't work.

Also, who the hell wants to go outside anymore?

Besides, who wants to go outisde anyway?

Years later people looking back at these predicitons were shocked. They sounded eerily familiar to events that had happened! Did Nostradamus truly predict the future?

'The End Times'

While the prophecies of Nostradamus are never clear until after they happen, sort of like opening up the newspaper the next day and seeing the winning lottery numbers, then saying that you had known this all along, many of the conspiracy theorists seem to agree that Nostradamus predicted that the world would end in 2012. It seems that the only way to really get in the news is to tell people thet the world is ending.

Works for him.

Information found from reputable sources such as this pointed out this quatrain:

The year 1999, seventh month

From the sky will come a great king of Terror:

To bring back life the great King of the Mongols,

Before and after Mars to take reign by good luck

Obviously the world is doomed. After reading this I have absolutely no idea why I should fear the year 2012. If anyone would like to, feel free to pop some acid and explain it in the comments section.


By being vague enough to get by, something that LOST has proved is a legitimate way to do business, Nostradaus has passed into popular culture. The french apothecary has been featured in song, news and the epitome of western culture: Futurama.

Pictured above: Culture

Hundreds of years after his death people still look to the prophet as a beacon of truth in a confused world. By comparison most people only mourned Billy Mays for an hour or so before moving onto the latest episode of 'Jersey Shore'.

I was going to make a "Situation" joke but can't bring myself to do it. We will always miss you Billy.