Hollywood Map
According to the people who make movies, terrorists are constantly trying to blow up the geographically spread out, politically unimportant city in which they live. Here's how they see the rest of the country:
The World According to Hollywood
A major part of a Hollywood producer's job involves figuring out what will "play in the sticks." Most of them seem to have decided that everyday Americans want to see stories that take place where movie producers live, travel on business and attend lavish cocaine fueled parties.
Deviation from these three setting is permitted, if it's absolutely necessary for the purposes of heavy handed symbolism, but only if you can find a way to insult the city in question at every opportunity. For instance ...
Movie synopsis: Half machine, half cop.
Acceptable setting: Detroit, where you're told they make machines.
Just be sure: To make the streets look like a roving rape carnival where a nuclear device has recently been detonated.
Movie synopsis: All-American underdog story of a boxer who beats the odds.
Acceptable setting: Philadelphia, the birthplace of freedom!
Just be sure: To make the boxer legally retarded.
Movie synopsis: Big budget comic book movie.
Acceptable setting: Chicago
Just be sure: It's one of the comic books that gives the town a flashy made-up name like Gotham or Metropolis. If the folks in "the sticks" are anything like you, they're not going to know what the fuck a Chicago is.
Movie synopsis: An outsider/loner fights back against a fascist theocracy where they do not tolerate gays/non-whites/individualism/dancing.
Acceptable setting: Modern day small town in one of the blocky states in the middle of the country, The 1950s (these are interchangeable).
Just be sure: To include tractors, corn-fields, women being punched in the face.
Huh. As a resident of the Detroit area, I thought the stereotype was gang-wars and graffiti. But that obviously isn't true, considering how organized crime would at least traffic some more money into this poverty hole.
Replywill lee is a faggot son of a bitch. stop reading all the comments faggot
Replywill lee is a faggot because he reads all the comments. what kinda faggot does that
I have the odd feeling that it may not be the trolling variety.
Does the author not know that Gotham is a nickname for New York City?
ReplyIm robocop
ReplyBS! I am!
Russia: Everything's filmed with a blue filter.
ReplyNew Zealand: Everything's filmed with a Peter Jackson.
Australia: Everyone Sweats.
Middle East: Everyone sweats and is dirty.
Almost forgot. Everyone of any importance on the entire planet speaks passable English. Unless they're REALLY evil, then they speak subtitle.
South America: Drugs and accented english
Western Europe: Love story, romantic comedy, inhabited by Hugh Grant.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesAsia: Ching chong wing wong ding dong poo ping.
incredibly racist.
It's a little thing called "sarcasm", it's actually mocking those stereotypes.
I'm Chinese and I laughed!
poo ping was the best, it sounds like a combination of extra strong knicker elastic and a heavy turd
I'm Jane Fonda.
ReplyThat's nice.
The Black and Yellow Area isn't that bad, some of it... We have, umm. Creme de menthe.
ReplyI live in New York, and let it be known that from here on i shall wait at point G for the inevitable convergence of the Universe at this location. That or just to see Joe Pesce getting raped by Spiderman.
ReplyI'm from Florida
Replyit's a pain in the ass trying to get change for a brick when you want a soda
I'm proud to be from Alabanjorape!
ReplyHey! I live in the Detroit area and ... well the Robocop setting pretty much sums up the whole city, except the police don't care enough to build a "robocop". They'd maybe unleash a jaguar into the city just for shits and giggles.
ReplyThis man speaks truth.
I love downtown Detroit, but even downtown is a little scummy.
"like a roving rape carnival where a nuclear device has recently been detonated."
Replylol, wtf is a Chicago?
America covers 9/10 of the Globe. The last 1/10 consists of everywhere else with people speaking English but with very dodgy accents
ReplyAhem...It's full of horror f*****g shitass s**t balls(--clap,clap-clap,clap--)Deep in the heart of Texas!
ReplyThis reminds me of a page over at tvtropes.com called "Eagleland":
Replyhttp://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Eagleland
It's more or less on this very topic.
Love the map. It so f*****g true. Texas is full of horror f*****g shitass s**t balls.
ReplyActually, Chicago and New York are both nicknamed Gotham.
ReplyDo people really not know that New York has been nickneamed Gotham since the 1800s?
ReplyUmmm... Dudes, the "setting" part of the joke is where they actually SHOT the movie. That's why there's a ? at the end of Chicago. The point being is that they used an obvious Chicago for a Gotham. Because New York is pretty much gonna look literally like New York and not like the comic book's Gotham ("Hey! There's the Statue of Liberty! I didn't know they had one in Gotham!" or "Hey! There's Times Square!" or "Hey! There's Wall Street!" See?). And in the comic Gotham is a metaphor for New York (as is Metropolis even though it was based on Toronto, CA) while in RL New York was nick named Gotham. Confused yet? Don't worry your little literal minded brain. Most people who aren't comic nerds are. ;)
Reply