Hollywood Map

According to the people who make movies, terrorists are constantly trying to blow up the geographically spread out, politically unimportant city in which they live. Here's how they see the rest of the country:

The World According to Hollywood

A major part of a Hollywood producer's job involves figuring out what will "play in the sticks." Most of them seem to have decided that everyday Americans want to see stories that take place where movie producers live, travel on business and attend lavish cocaine fueled parties.

Deviation from these three setting is permitted, if it's absolutely necessary for the purposes of heavy handed symbolism, but only if you can find a way to insult the city in question at every opportunity. For instance ...

Movie synopsis: Half machine, half cop.

Acceptable setting: Detroit, where you're told they make machines.

Just be sure: To make the streets look like a roving rape carnival where a nuclear device has recently been detonated.

Movie synopsis: All-American underdog story of a boxer who beats the odds.

Acceptable setting: Philadelphia, the birthplace of freedom!

Just be sure: To make the boxer legally retarded.

Movie synopsis: Big budget comic book movie.

Acceptable setting: Chicago

Just be sure: It's one of the comic books that gives the town a flashy made-up name like Gotham or Metropolis. If the folks in "the sticks" are anything like you, they're not going to know what the fuck a Chicago is.

Movie synopsis: An outsider/loner fights back against a fascist theocracy where they do not tolerate gays/non-whites/individualism/dancing.

Acceptable setting: Modern day small town in one of the blocky states in the middle of the country, The 1950s (these are interchangeable).

Just be sure: To include tractors, corn-fields, women being punched in the face.