Singapore

Singaporeans love to sell t-shirts reading "Singapore is a FINE city," an hilarious reference to the city's stringent legal system which imposes many harsh fines. Also, it kills a shitton of people.

Just The Facts

  1. Singapore is a clean, safe Southeast Asian city-state, home to over 5 million.
  2. Singapore once banned the sell of gum for 12 years after some holligans stuck gum on train doors' sensors. Singapore does not negotiate with douchebags.
  3. Singapore is democratic. And unlike crazy, complicated US elections we only have one party to choose from. Thanks, Singapore!

Merlions

Constructed in 1972. Spits water.

Singapore's national animal is the merlion. Merlions are the most fearsome creature in the underwater kingdom. They fuck sharks for breakfast.

Merlions were first bred in the 17th century as a way to fight pirates. Today merlions roam the beaches of Singapore feeding on algae and tourists.

Constructed in 1996. Breathes fire.

Singaporeans and Sexuality

Singapore has a thriving LGBT community. However, homosexual acts are illegal and if the cops catch you, you can be imprisoned for up to two years. This is why you almost never see a homosexual couple having sex publically.

Monkeys

Monkeys are the most fearsome creature in the jungle kingdom and they inhabit the hell out of Singapore. You should not feed the monkeys (there's a $500 dollar fine for that too) but if a monkey has you cornered it would behoove you to surrender your food.

Shit just got real.