Screens Of Death

In our modern age we humans work with and play on various articles of technology. Over time these devices become our friends. And just like our friends, they will get sick and die.

A problem has been detected.

Hope you didn't want to have fun today.

This is your fault.

Just The Facts

  1. Computers are not fool proof.
  2. Gaming consoles are known to crash.
  3. You don't wanna see Mac when he is sad.

A Windows Rainbow of Failure

Can you remember the first time you were trying to get to the next level, when the screen went blank? Or the time you were on an all nighter trying to get the paper done when youe work was inveloped into the blue? Or making an important phone call to moms, when out of the blue (or into the blue) a colorful screen, or ring, informed you of a system failure? In the next few paragraphs I will attempt to explain crash causes, sollutions and falsify times that unexpected tech-blocks effected history.

Firstly, there is the infamous blue screen of death. It is the most recognizable screen of death and is very common in systems that run on windows. It is so common that even in a presentation for Windows 98 Bill Gates himself succumbs to defeat.

If you were super poor when you got your computer, your hooptie of a pc might revolt against the application of newer programs and trigger the dreaded screen. Another cause is that you've encountered a bug. This might or might not be your fault. A bug enters into your computer when you take on a program containing incorrect coding. Some computer viruses work in this way, so don't try and download that new Meghan Fox Movie! The promise of her over-exposed curves could wreck your computer. There is a rainbow of screens used for letting you know something on a Windows system went awry. The red screen of death is diplayed in the original versions of Vista, when there is a problem boot loader. In the ancient OS/2 a black screen would appear, indicating a critical system error.

Now with that in mind, it's not as though most of these problems cannot be fixed. If you search "Blue screen of death" you will not find many personal stories, while how-to articles to repair your system abound.

Time in history when the blue screen of death has effected the course of events: In 1987, after a blue screen appeared on Hong Kong's stock excange trade screen, Black Monday began. The effects were felt across the world, resulting in the largest one-day percentage decline in recorded history.

When a green ring turns red...

The next subject is one that makes many an Xbox 360 gamer shed a tear, throw a controller or (less likely), pitch the console out of a second story window, killing an unsuspecting pedestrian. The red ring of the death has plagued first edition consoles for years. There are so many casuses of the red lights that Xbox 360 failure has a code all its own. Two lights for overheating, a result of shoddy sodering; three lights for power surges and power cable dislocation; four lights for the same things as three lights or it can be a fatal hardware error. Most of these problems can be repaired. If not, Microsoft offers replacements, though you have to pay for shipping.

Red ring of death's influence on history: In 2005, after encountering the red ring of death during an attempt to play through Half-Life 2, John Paul 2 dies from a heart-attack.

Death of a Cell Phone

While it is well documented that Microsoft frequently suffers system flaws, they are not the only company that encounters product failures. Apple has its own (very cute) screen of death. For iphones and ipods, the screen is a little sad mac. You can't help but want to fix the little guy up. Apple also employs the white screen to signal technical difficulties. These screens can be caused by running too many apps, overheating, or by just being very old. In any event, They can be fixed by geeks who know what they are doing. So don't over load your mac or you'll make him sad, seriously.

Sad mac's influence on history: In mid-Spring 2008 A top McCain campaign advisor was joking about potential running mates on their cell phone to head-quarters when sad mac ended the conversation, abruptly. The advisor was not able to explain the humor of the suggestion. American history is returning that call.

Effective Marketing 101

It seems cynical but fatal system failures can be veiwed as a good way to sell more product. I mean you get your much anticipated device and then it goes and dies on you. Not cool, tech-gods, not cool. But then you can get it fixed or buy a new one. Getting an electronic fixed takes a bit more time and energy than most people want to spend. In most cases they opt for getting the new and improved version. Hence, the profit enjoyed by makers of faulty goods. I have experienced a few of these problems and am guilty of buying new versions just to have it happen again. What can I say? BUY A MAC!