4 Hillarious Ways To Commit Suicide

Yes, death will find us someday. It's a fact. But sometimes you can try and find it first, and if you do, why not to use your full creativity to make this happen the most unforgettable event ever.

Kill yourself please.

Just The Facts

  1. So you had enough. You feel life sucks since the last seasons of The Simpsons were aired.
  2. Your girl hates shaving her legs since Mo'Nique became famous.
  3. Now you want to take away your not so precious life but feel like it can't be done without a little comedy, something clever and smart that will get you immortal.

Jump off a building and get shot in the face.

It's 1994 and The Fresh Prince of Bel Air rules the world. You believe life can't get any better after that so you think is a good idea to try an afterlife. You find a 10 floor building and jump. While falling, you get shot in the face.

That's what happened to Ronald Opus.

On March 23 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a gunshot wound of the head caused by a shotgun. Investigation to that point had revealed that the decedent had jumped from the top of a ten story building with the intent to commit suicide. (He left a note indicating his despondency.) As he passed the 9th floor on the way down, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast through a window, killing him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been erected at the 8th floor level to protect some window washers, and that the decedent would not have been able to complete his intent to commit suicide because of this.

Further investigation led to the discovery that the room on the 9th floor from whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. He was threatening her with the shotgun because of an interspousal spat and became so upset that he could not hold the shotgun straight. Therefore, when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife, and the pellets went through the window, striking the decedent.

When one intends to kill subject A, but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. The old man was confronted with this conclusion, but both he and his wife were adamant in stating that neither knew that the shotgun was loaded. It was the longtime habit of the old man to threaten his wife with an unloaded shotgun. He had no intent to murder her; therefore, the killing of the decedent appeared then to be accident. That is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.

Try commit suicide inside your own brand new coffin

A Montenegrin man made an unsuccessful suicide attempt in front of shocked funeral home staffers after he purchased a coffin, climbed in and shot himself.

Milo Bogisic paid cash for the casket at Palma Funerals in Podgorica before he wrote out his obituary and climbed into the coffin. He then put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger.

The 52-year-old man survived the blast when the bullet passed through his chin and nose, missing his brain, Ananova reports.

Police said Bogisic was having family problems and was even more devastated when he "hadn't managed to end it all."

To add insult to injury, the funeral home refused to give him a refund on the coffin.

Kill yourself and blame your cheating ex

Syed Mustafa Hussain Zaidi was a renowned Urdu poet of Pakistan. He knew he wouldn't be ably to write about anything his pakistani ass feel like and thought "bummer, im done, I'll kill myself". He knew he had to take advantage of it and took his lovely girlfriend down with him.


Mustafa Zaidi's final love affair of life was with a married woman Shehnaz Gul, for whom he wrote a series of wonderful romantic poems. When Shehnaz Gul started seeing another rich businessman, Mustafa Zaidi was broken hearted. He not only had to deal with Shehnaz Guls' husband but also a lover who Zaidi believed was a corrupt smuggler. That man asked Shehnaz Gul to demand her pictures and letters back from Mustafa Zaidi. That demand pushed Zaidi over the edge. He became angry and despondent. He became so irrational that he printed 4000 posters with nude pictures of Shehnaz Gul.

Mustafa Zaidi told Shehnaz Gul that if she did not meet him he would distribute her pictures all over the country. To pacify Mustafa Zaidi and avoid social embarrassment she agreed to meet him. But that day the most unfortunate thing happened and the police announced to the whole world on October 12th 1970 that they found the dead body of Mustafa Zaidi with a poisoned coffee pot in one room and unconscious body of Shehnaz Gul in the next. Shehnaz Gul was charged with murder. She confessed in police investigation, "When Mustafa Zaidi's wife discovered our affair it created tension between the spouses. Mustafa Zaidi wanted to marry me but I told him it was not realistic as both of us were already married and had children. But Zaidi would not listen and kept on insisting while I kept on resisting."

After Mustafa Zaidi's death Shehnaz Gul's beautiful pictures repeatedly appeared on the front pages of all the newspapers of the country. Ironically Mustafa Zaidi received more fame and recognition after his death than during his lifetime. He became well known more as a lover of a married woman than as a romantic poet.

Heart issues. Broken piece.

Are you an organ donor? I'f so, do you think something yours is transfered to a possible recipient? If you have suicide tendencies and a hot wife, might happen something like what happened in 2008 whan aman with suicide victim's heart took his own life. He even married the donor's widow after the transplant 12 years ago.

A man who received a heart transplant 12 years ago and later married the donor's widow died the same way the donor did, of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

No foul play was suspected in 69-year-old Sonny Graham's death at his Vidalia, Ga., home, investigators said. He was found in a utility building in his backyard with a single shotgun wound to the throat.

That heart was from Terry Cottle, 33, who had also shot himself.

Grateful for his new heart, Graham began writing letters to the donor's family to thank them. In January 1997, Graham met his donor's widow, Cheryl Cottle, then 28, in Charleston.

"I felt like I had known her for years," Graham told The (Hilton Head) Island Packet for a story in 2006. "I couldn't keep my eyes off her. I just stared."

In 2001, Graham bought a home for Cottle and her four children in Vidalia. Three years later, they were married after Graham retired from his job as a plant manager for Hargray Communications in Hilton Head.

From their previous marriages, the couple had six children and six grandchildren scattered across South Carolina and Georgia.