Gilbert Arenas

Gilbert Arenas was once known as a decent basketball player. Now he's likely known as 'G-Ribbon' at the local halfway house. What the fuck happened Gilbert?

The face of evil?


Just The Facts

  1. Gilbert Arenas was a guard for the Washington Wizards of the NBA.
  2. He thought shooting a teammate would be seen as locker room hijinks.
  3. He was wrong, and probably will never play basketball again as a result of this error in judgement.

Straight Outta 'zona

It's not as badass as say, Compton, but Gilbert Arenas rose to prominence after being a first-round talent who was stolen in the second round of the 2001 NBA Draft by the Golden State Warriors, playing out of Oakland. After a stellar college career with the University of Arizona, the man they call "Agent Zero" took only a few short years to become an NBA star.

Unfortunately, his early career was plagued by turnovers and battles with The Riddler.

After winning awards and dominating the Rookie-Sophomore game at NBA All-Star Weekend in 2003, his free agent value was sky-high and he bolted for the Washington Wizards - formerly named the Washington Bullets - in one of the greatest cases of foreshadowing in modern sports history.

A Wizard on the Court

Things looked good early on for Arenas, who continued his dominance and managed to push Washington into the playoffs. He was a hero to the people, a great story as he flaunted his jersey no. 0 and said it was a response to all the people who told him he'd never amount to anything in life. Who'd have guessed only a few short years later, those people would be proven right.

He also apparently learned French and managed to get his head on Leslie Nielsen's body somehow.

Merry Christmas, Team!

After a few seasons of battling injuries and other such issues, it appeared that Arenas was back in 2009. That was until Christmas Eve, when he decided to bring some pistols into the Wizards locker room to play a joke on a teammate.

Not required for on-court NBA activities. On-court.

The result was a hefty suspension from NBA Commissioner, and notoriously hardass motherfucker, David Stern, and a criminal investigation that placed Gilbert squarely in a halfway house for thirty days.

What do you mean guns aren't allowed in the locker room? Is that in the collective bargaining agreement?

It all boils down to another athlete making a huge mistake, and then leaving millions of dollars on the table, completely out of being a fucking idiot. The average man would never think to bring a pistol, or pistols, to his place of work without reprecussion. But athletes like Gilbert here, they say "fuck societal conventions, I'll take my piece where I feel like it."

Maybe he just took the "Agent" handle a little too seriously?

Not Gilbert Arenas.