What would you get if the exterior of a Star Wars Imperial Star Destroyer mated with Clay Aiken? Tilda Swinton. That's what.
Swinton is a product of the women's only Murray Edwards College in Cambridge, England and graduated with a degree in Social and Political Sciences. Going to school in Cambridge and majoring in Political Sciences probably meant that not much girl on girl action was going on.
She has co-starred such mainstream films as Constantine, in which she played the archangel Gabriel. If you were never told in Sunday school that Gabriel was a woman and dressed like Luke Skywalker from Star Wars Episode IV then you should probably demand your money back.
In case you were wondering whether she is into alternative living, and who wasn't, you are in luck. Ms. Swinton is into the freak stuff. She lives with the father of her twin children, a Scottish painter yet travels with her partner, a German/New Zealand painter.
If you are not a painter and still have a hard on for Swinton, looking androgynous might help you.