Nothing

The Cracked Staff does nothing for a living. We find new ways to phrase nothing, think about nothing, and do absolutely nothing to waste time. We're currently understaffed, but we're not worried because we want to make sure we get nothing right.

Nothing is crossed out in the this image.

Nothing can explain why this image exists.

Just The Facts

  1. Nothing lasts forever, but you don't.
  2. Nothing isn't something, but it sure is something.
  3. Nothing is the perfect gift for those who find that nothing is good enough.

Disclaimer

Due in part to the fact that you are reading about nothing, we assume that you came to this website looking for nothing and as such feel that finding something concerning nothing is an intrusion on your right to find nothing if that is what you were searching for. To this we respond that if you were searching for nothing, how could you reasonably expect not to find something about nothing? Retard.

Nothing is the solution

You most likely find yourself discouraged whenever nothing seems to be working, or when nothing seems to matter, or when premature ejaculation. You are a dittleyfulptardon for thinking so negatively, because guess what?

No, not because of bonersplosions, DOB.

It's because nothing does seem to matter... in fact, nothing is one of the most important aspects of something. Little did you know that nothing has been the answer to everything all along - by applying nothing to anything, you will begin to expect nothing, and more likely to be thankful for nothing. It's all or nothing, and all is nothing.

Bullshit.

The concept of nothing

Everybody has something ... how many people have nothing? A few of you can lie that you don't have anything, but most probably can't count high enough to know for sure. Some might argue that it is impossible to have something and that nothing can possibly belong to anything; that something is unable to truly hold authority over something else. In a sense, nothing cannot posess something and something cannot posess nothing. What were we talking about?