Internet Pornography

Most porn is harmless tribble concerning busty women and fairly questionable tipping methods for the pizza boy. Then there's the horrors that is Internet Porn. You have been warned.

Just The Facts

  1. Next to Warcraft and Facebook, Internet Porn is the sole reason folks hop online.
  2. Everyone has their favorates listed with porn sites, but with harmless labels like "Dogs" and "Ballon Boys"
  3. If it exists, there is porn of it. No. Exceptions.


Look, lets be honest here; Porn is nothing new. Our need to get it on without the hassle of actually giving a damn has been hotwired into our brains since we figured out that rocks tend to hurt things when you throw them. To reflect this mentality, our ancestors took to the walls of our cave abodes to provide fappable material for the whole tribe.

It may not look it, but this is some hardcore shit, man.

The advent of photography didnt really help in the advancement of ourselves as a species. While it did allow for the average man a means to document and catalouge the world around them, some folks saw this as a chance to get the ladies to hike up those skirts and sell the pictures at the local boardwalk for thee cents a hit.

This is what your great-grandparents wacked it to.

And now thanks to modern technology, porn has gotten so common on the web that you cant go three clicks from a Google search without tripping over students banging their teachers for a passing grade. Or the paper boy getting serviced by lonely Mrs. Johnston. Or still shots of a "typical" all girl sleep over. Or videos of Famer Brown leading in his daughter and prized stallion Thunder into the barn to-

Whoa, shit.....we did it again. Hold on, we need to go cry into a bottle of Jack for a hour or so.

It's the only way we can live with ourselves.

Rule 34

For those you who value the small sliver of innocence this world has allotted you to retain over the many years you have lived, you'd best stop reading right now.

Rule 34 is a 4chan spawned meme that states "If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions." If you think stumbleing onto pics of all four Ninja Turtles going all out on April O'Niel was horrifying enough, you have seen nothing. NOTHING!!!


One could say that the creation of Rule 34 is a good indication on how far we've come since Jesus left us the keys about two millenia ago. To quote the late Charlton Heston a la Planet of the Apes, "We really did it, didnt we?" Yep, we did.

To be fair, this really is the only way shit could've gone down. Studies have shown that porn addiction can be hard to break, and terrifyingly easy to spiral out of control. After all, if you do something over and over, dont you get bored of it? You want something new and exciting to spice up the living hell that is existance as a human being. Some people just get a hobby and call it a day.

The Internet finds a new hole to use.