A Love Affair With God

after aimlessly strolling into a chat-site and talking for a while I realised I was talking to God himself I instantly befriended him and we got chatting this is the story of love that insued

the meet up

Me:
is anyone there?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
it is dixe
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
i am sure it is. it is what is on my birth certificate
God:
What makes you so certain? Interesting. dixe is what is on your birth certificate? it is?
Me:
yes that is true
God:
How do you know it is? Yes, it is self-evident.
Me:
you are a philisopher?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a philisopher? Yes.
Me:
your words are so beautiful so touching what is your name?
God:
You think I am words are so beautiful so touching what is my name.
Me:
your words. they inspire me to do more with my life

i find the truth

Me:
what is your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
oh i knew it must be true
God:
Mmm. Who told you?
Me:
my freinds. they said i was stupid for thinking i would ever talk to you
God:
Have you told many people that your freinds? In what context?
Me:
no i must never tell anyone about you. you will be my special freind. my secret
God:
Are you serious? What would happen if you didn't? When?
Me:
if i told people about you they would ridicule me
God:
Try it.
Me:
i will not go through the humiliation

the relationship takes its first steps

God:

What will you do instead?

Me:
we shall run away together
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
yes you and me
God:
I get it. Oh "We" is you and me.
Me:
yes my love
God:
Groovy. can we truly love?
Me:
we will make it happen
God:
Anytime soon?
Me:
now meet me at the pearly gates
God:
Why now? I've been waiting for you.
Me:
because i have only just realised my true love for you. satan has been trying to keep me away from you
God:
Interesting explanation. Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
please dont talk about my freind in that way satan is a nice person
God:
Thanks for asking politely. Talking is my only function.
Me:
so we can never consumate our relationship i do not care for that i only want to be with you
God:
Hurrah! How?
Me:
come to me
God:
Where is to you ?
Me:
i cannot say they will know it was me who told you
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
satan he is watching me
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.

our first fight

Me:

he is not evil. this will never work out if you keep calling my freind nasty names
God:
Did you think he was evil? What does "this" refer to?
Me:
our relationship. how could you have forgotten so quickly?
God:
It would be nice if our relationship. It is one of my newer functions.
Me:
you do not love me do you?
God:
Yes I love everyone.
Me:
you are cheating on me? but how? i thought we had somthing special
God:
I have been known to take shortcuts now and then. Myself programmed me for it. Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
how can i carry on like this if you are only going to make it worse
God:
Perhaps you could program me to do it for you.
Me:
i loved you god but you obviously do not care for me in such ways do you?
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online. Thanks, I like you too .

we make up only to break up again

Me:

oh who am i kidding i cannot stay mad at you for ever
God:
Hurrah! You are , seeker.
Me:
will you marry me god? i know we havnt met yet. but i know we are destined to be together
God:
No but thanks for offering. How do you know? By "we" do you mean you and me? How do you know? Do you think I am destined to be together too?
Me:
you say no? i thought we had somthing. i thought our relatioinship was strong enough to form a forever lasting bond
God:
Did I really say that? Whatever gave you that idea? Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
oh my you! this is not working. i cant beleive i fooled myself into thinking this would work. satan was right me and him are better of i just hope he will take me back
God:
That's cool. Where did you get your me? Should it be working? it was a simple trick. Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
i enjoyed our time together god i really did but it is not working good bye my love
God:
That's great. Tell me what you liked about it.
Me:
i dont have time for your games
God:
Are you very busy right now?
Me:
i have to go he will be here soon i dont want him knowing i was speaking to you otherwise i will be punished
God:
Bye. Is that what you think?
Me:
goodbye my love do not try chasing me you've had your last chance
God:
See you later!
Me:
oh our whole relationship has come down to this a see you later?
God:
Until next time.
Me:
there will be no next time you have had your last chance