5 Vampires That Could Beat Up Edward Cullen

Now most of you are probably thinking, only five? We all know that this list could feature ever single vampire not featured in a Stephanie Meyer book, but I thought I would limit myself to just five. By the way, the list is not in any order.

Oh my, what large eyes you have.

Just The Facts

  1. Real vampires should not sparkle
  2. Sunlight should burn them, turn them to stone, or in one way or another kill/harm them
  3. Bella could easily beat up edward


Marlowe(Danny Huston) is the leader of the group of vampires that attack Barrow, Alaska in 30 days of night. Not only could he kick Edward Cullens ass in a fight, but he is intelligent as well. First, plans to attack a town that will be completely hidden from the sun for a full thirty days(hence, the title.) Secondly, he then manipulates a human into killing all the dogs in town so that no humans can escape. The human believes that they will turn him into a vampire if he does so. Marlowe having no sympathy, instead kills him. Then, along with all his vampire friends, he goes about killing just about anybody he can get his teeth on.

Santanico Pandemonium

Portrayed by the beautiful Salma Hayek, Santanico was in the film From Dusk Till Dawn. Moments before looking as she does in the above picture, she looked something like this. After a bar fight, a man played by Quinten Tarantino has a bleeding hand. She proceeds into this strange creature, jump on his back, bite his neck, and kill him. After that every vampire in the bar goes on a killing rampage. Santanico gets back up after being shot multiple times to try and kill Quinten's brother(George Clooney).


Before Kirsten Dunst was kissing Spiderman, she was a vampire, and a badass one at that. Unwillingly transformed into a vampire by Louis(Brad Pitt), she comes to accept the fact that she is going to be a bloodsucking vampire for all of her 'eternal' life. Throughout the movie she drinks the blood of quite a few individuals, and manages to almost kill Lestat de Lioncourt(Tom Cruise) by poisoning him and then slitting his throat, letting his blood spill out all over the floor. I would bet all the money I have, that she could easily beat the entire cullen family in a fight single handedly.

Jan Valek

Played by Thoman Ian Griffith, Valek was in the movie John Carpenter's Vampires. He was a master vampire, and the first vampire ever. After slayers(vampire killers) raid an abandoned house of vampires, he pops out of the ground and enters the house. He then proceeds to slaughter almost an entire team of slayers and many prostitutes that were in the house. Three people get out alive and drive away, but Valek jumps on the back of their car and doesn't get off until receiving a shotgun blow to the face. The rest of the movie he is just avoiding the sun and being a badass.

Count Orlok(Dracula)

Count Orlok was played by Max Schreck in the silent film Nosferatu made in 1922. The film was based off of Bram Stoker's Dracula. Due to not being able to obtain rights to the novel, changes were made in order to make the film. Count Dracula was changed to Count Orlok, among other things. This entry really needs no description. Count Orlok killed numerous people and was the first badass vampire ever on film. Edward Cullen would stand no chance.