Internet Argument Techniques
Some people are so dumb that they think they can walk around naked and argue people into believing they have clothes on. These people have made their way to the internet.
How to Combat These Techniques
The important thing to remember is that you are dealing with a person who has essentially placed a twig on their head and expects you to believe they are a tree. Armored in that level of "confidence," almost anything you say will be construed by them as evidence that their tree disguise is working, so you will have to be very specific and to the point in addressing exactly what they're doing and why it's not fooling anyone.
Subtlety and sarcasm are great tools but there is no way in hell they will get through to this poor sap. Unless you're just toying with them for your amusement, the best way to put an end to it is just to be direct. Point them to this guide if necessary, explain that you know what they are doing, and that it is so obvious it can be seen from space.
Chances are they will just end up placing more twigs on their head, praying fervently that this will succeed, but at least you gave it your best shot.
Ha it was my master plan all along to use all of these under a different account name and make David Wong think I'm such a douche that he would ban my account and make an entire article based around the experience he had with me and you are all puppets of my social experiment! Also sodomy.
Replyha this is great because I have seen almost all of these used!
ReplyI actually laughed at the joke in #11, because it was so beautifully stupid.
ReplyI am so going to use these
Reply#10 was painful to read.
Replydammit
LOL! I lmfao at the guy who said he got a Nobel prize in grammar.. bahahahahaha!
ReplyIf I were to suggest another one it would be the "insecure teenager"
The kind of teenager that in a discussion/debate just say: "you don't agree with me because you're jealous that I'm prettier than you!!!" (Add in bad spelling). Or something along those lines. All I feel that i can do in that situation is ask.. "umm wtf? Where did that come from?"
You forgot about the typical internet tough guys that threatens to beat you up and then tell you that they're ready and waiting for at their house. And go on long epic rants about how they will put their boot in your face through the internet while bragging about their physical prowress and fighting capabilities. These tough guy badasses also tend to be skilled in all forms of martial arts, boxing, street fighting, and every type of fighting skill known to man; whilst being a threatening 300 pounds of pure muscle and over 6'5. These poor creatures can usually be examined in their natural habitat known as: Youtube. How could you forget them?!
ReplyI'm going to beat you up because I'm 10 feet tall, weigh a full ton, know 30 different forms of martial arts. I've been in over a thousand street fights and never once lost. So I'm waiting at my home, in my mothers basement... for you to come and show me what you're made of!
You forgot long posts to try and look smart.
ReplySome of these have some legitimate place in discourse in certain circumstances - the "innocent question" for example is not fallacious and everybody mispeaks / mistypes things occasionally and has to correct their errors. Insisting that somebody's wrong in what they're saying now because they mispoke earlier and have admitted it is the ad hominem fallacy.
ReplyHere is an example of a legitimate use of the "innocent question" showing that it's not always a fallacy:
"Statistically, black people are arrested more often than white people. This could be at least partially due to racist prejudice by the police as is often suggested, but couldn't it also be due to the fact that black people, as a group, actually commit more crimes?"
You might disagree with that assessment or with where you think it might be headed, but it's a valid form of argument as far as it goes.
I'd love to see the statistics behind that.
But even then, deeper questions arise. Let's say that the answer to that question was, "Yes, black people do commit more crime." But the argument hasn't stopped there. The question then becomes "Why?" rather than accepting the answer to the previous question as a point in the argument. So we could say, "Well, it's probably because racial prejudice has worked against minorities to put them at an economic disadvantage, and as research has shown, poorer areas have higher levels of crime due to rampant depression, anxiety, and lack of education."
I wouldn't really call it completely valid- you're sort of painting yourself as the logical one in that situation who has the rationality to "propose" a different answer to a problem. Because you've then identified yourself as the "gets the real problem" (as well as an unconventional thinker), people who challenge you then become the conformists who refuse to look at the whole picture.
So, in short, it's still manipulative.
What about the people on the Internet who demand sources for your argument, then refuse to pay any attention to them? That's happened to me a lot. D:
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesEven worse. I meet person like that almost every day in real life!
It's even worse when they make a huge assertion, and you ask if they can provide sources, evidence, something! And they avoid doing so and reply "I don't need to prove anything I KNOW what I said is true."
Even worse! ..... ... sorry, I got nothin.
There's this p***k on kongregate (flash gaming site for those who've never heard of it) who attacks anybody who disagrees with him or corrects him. Apparently, if you don't agree with him, you're "wrong" and "stupid". Everything you think or believe is wrong and goddamn where do you get off disagreeing with *him*? Man I hate that guy, he's like one of those tests where you're asked for you interpretation of something and you get zero marks because it's not what the person marking thinks.
ReplyThere are literally millions of people like that.
Dude, just chill. There are plenty of people like that on the internet, and many of them are just looking to pick a fight and make you mad on purpose. Those people are called trolls. Do not feed the troll by reacting to him, it's what he wants.
What site did the forum post screenshots come from?
Reply"Due to safety concerns, all examples included are fictional."
It's right up there, man. Look it up.
What about when people cast spells on you through the internet? Is that a real thing because I heard it was, but i'm just asking
ReplyOH GOD NO
I've seen that, but I'm pretty sure that they were just trolling.
Is the example from number eight real? Because I had a sudden urge to remove hat person's reproductive organ for the good of the human race.
ReplyPoor hat person.
Bad 'gramer' should be illegal. There is no excuse.
ReplyI know, it's really hard to understand what the person is saying. fair enough if their English isn't quite up to scratch, but for the rest of them they need to take a course in the English language. Still, when you look at the s**t they're saying, it's probably just as well I can't understand their spelling and grammar.
I once got into an argument with a guy whose only defence was that I was making up the facts. Regardless of what I said he stuck to the defence "that's what you say". Plus the author missed the "you're a racist defense" where people from different races will say you only disagree with them because you're white, though I think it might be a version of the extreme tunnel vision.
ReplyAlso, sodomy.
I am a mall cop IRL and I notice a lot of these behaviours in people that I talk to day to day. One of the more recent incidents I dealt with was tunnel vision. I came across this guy about to go down a broken escalator. For safety and liabilty I can't let him go down. Plus, you know, the signs. So I tell him to go around. He ignores me and goes down anyway, so I ID him. He has no ID even though his company policy states that he can't come to work without it. I found him the next day and had a lengthy conversation with him and his boss. He tried to defend himself with a accusation of discrimination because I didn't ask anyone else for their ID. When that didn't work he changed to the fact that I used a swear word. That didn't work and he said that it was illegal for me to even ask for his ID. That didn't work and he was all like "I was having a bad day so this sign didn't apply to me at all" Good God people are just big children.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesAlso a security guard. I feel for you.
How can we be sure either of you are security cops? It's all lies I tell you!
You must certainly mean... LAIZ!
If someone places a twig on their head and pretends they're a tree, you should be direct.
ReplyGet an ax.
Or fire. Fire works on trees.
Also, sodomy.
I hate number 8 so much.
ReplyWell, that's, like, your opinion, man.
This article is poo-face stinky-butt.
ReplyYou are the intellectual superior to everyone in this room. We should bow down to your apparent awesomeness. Please lead me to victory in whatever conflict you are fighting.
I think you can let it go RowRow, he won't get it. Except if you're just messing with him in which case you must enjoy.