5 Bible Stories Ripped Off From Greek Mythology

Pretty much every story is a rip off of something else. Even the Bible. Plain writing = From the Bible. Bold = Greek Mythology.

The Creation

There was absolutely no world and nothing, except for God. One day he got bored and decided to create everything.

There was nothing, it was called Chaos. One day it gave birth to everything for some reason.

God first created light. He called light 'day' and dark 'night' and he seperated the days with darkness.

Chaos gave birth to earth and darkness to seperate the days.

God created Adam and Eve as the first people to populate the world.

Chaos created the god of love and sex, Eros.

The Beginning

The first people lived in a perfect world with no pain and no sadness, this place was called the Garden of Eden.

The first people lived in a perfect world with no pain and no sadness, this was called the Golden Age.

The Garden of Eden was inhabited by Adam and Eve and their millions of babies. God had only one rule, that they were not to pick the fruit from one particular tree. Having designed human psychology, it seems as though this was a set up. Eve, being the weaker of the two, picked the fruit and thus, the rest of the world has diseases and misfortune.

The stories differ slightly here.

Eve was created to cater to Adam and improve his life, the first Greek woman was created as punishment. The Golden Age originally consisted of only men, until one day, a man named Prometheus tricked the gods into eating bones by covering them with meat. The gods came up with a tortorous punishment, her name was Pandora. He handed her a box and said she was not to open it, but being weak of mind as only a woman is, she opened it and released all diseases and evils into the world.

The point of these stories: Women are to blame for all the human suffering in the world today. Thanks, ladies.

The Cleansing

You know the story with the gigantic flood to rid of the evil people? Noah's Ark? No, not that one. The other one.

In the Bible it says that men had become corrupt and God's only choice was to pick one man to continue life, and subject everyone else to a flood so they would drown to death. He felt really bad about it though.

Zeus got sick of everyone and decided to kill them all with a gigantic flood.

God chose his one man, Noah, and told him to build an ark and take his wife, three sons and their wives to safety.

That trouble maker Prometheus knew about the flood and told his son Deucalion to build an ark and take his wife to safety. Apparently Zeus didn't notice until too late and didn't care for some reason.

The Point of these stories: Your god will kill you.

The successor

Wise men told the people that the King of Jews was to be born and he would challenge authority and change their lives.

Before Zeus, Cronus was king of the gods. He heard that one day he would have a son who would overthrow him.

King Herrod decided the only way to ensure noone would ever take over was to have every single baby up to 2 years old in Bethlehem murdered.

Cronus decided to prevent this by swallowing all his sons as they were born.

God told Joseph to take Jesus and run, so only the uninformed babies would die.

Cronus' wife Rhea hid one of the babies, Zeus who of course did kill Cronus and take over, meaning he swallowed all those babies for nothing. Darn.

The Point of these stories: Lots of innocent babies died?

Jesus and God

God and Zeus are similar only in apparance, because Zeus was the most powerful and threatening looking god christians could find to rip off.

The Bible's 'Jesus' and Greek mythologys 'Dinoysus, god of wine' were born of a virgin mother and an immortal father. They created a ritual for men to honor them which involves eating and drinking items symobolising their flesh and blood. They died and rose gain three days later, still living.

The Point of these stories: ...Is anything in the Bible original?